criticism

How to Accept Criticism

By in Learning 1 Comment Tags: ,

Criticism

We’ve all heard the term, “constructive criticism.” This is the good type of criticism that is productive and helpful. According to various books and articles that I’ve read, constructive criticism is like nasty-tasting medicine. It’s terrible to swallow but it will make you a better person. Hey, you should be glad to get it!

Well, that might be true, but I still don’t like it. Honestly, who does? Criticism is hard to take, no matter how gently it’s delivered or how helpful it might be.

That’s why I found this illustration in a Wall Street Journal article to be both informative and entertaining. It provides some helpful tips on how to effectively respond to negative feedback.

Responding_to_Criticism
Illustration courtesy of the Wall Street Journal

I guess it boils down to this… stay calm, don’t get defensive, listen to what’s being said, and gather more information if necessary. If you determine that your manager’s criticism is valid, try to change your behavior.

It’s never easy to get negative feedback. But if you can follow these steps, your manager will be impressed with your ability to handle a potentially uncomfortable situation and respond appropriately.

How to Criticize Someone Nicely

By in Communication No Comments Tags: , ,

Criticizing

It’s so hard to criticize a coworker or manager. Even if you think that your feedback would be helpful, you’re still saying something negative – and it could easily cause the person to become upset and defensive.

But what if it can’t be avoided? Is it possible to deliver constructive criticism without hurting anyone’s feelings? Author Susan Steinbrecher believes it can be done. Just follow these seven steps:

  1. Get permission – Ask the person if it would be OK if you shared an idea or suggestion. You might say something like, “Do you have a minute to talk about…?” It’s a polite thing to do. And if it’s not a good time, it would be better if you waited. If the person is busy or distracted, he or she is not likely to be receptive to what you have to say.
  2. Be balanced – Sure, you’ve got some negative things to say. But try to balance them out by saying positive things as well. And if you do pay the person a compliment, don’t immediately follow up with a “but.” (For example, “You do great work, but the clients think you’re difficult.”) Your compliment will be lost. All the person will hear is the criticism.
  3. Highlight the benefits – Why are you criticizing this person? How will your suggestions benefit that person, your working relationship, or the project that you’re both working on? Talk about the benefits of your ideas. You might be criticizing this person, but it’s for the best!
  4. Choose your words carefully – Say “I” rather than “you.” (For example, you should say “I feel unhappy when…” rather than “You make me feel unhappy when…”) Focus on the present rather than dredging up the past. And don’t use words like “always” or “never.” Saying things like “You always do this” or “You never do that” will only make the person feel angry and defensive.
  5. Prepare and practice – Work out what you want to say before you talk to the person. And then practice saying it. Run it by a trusted friend or coworker to see what he or she thinks of your message and delivery.
  6. Do it in person – Talk to the person face-to-face. If that’s not possible, talk on the phone. Definitely don’t send a text or an email. Written messages can easily be misinterpreted.
  7. Stay calm and keep an open mind – After you’ve delivered your prepared statement, the person might respond by providing you with some constructive criticism. Try to stay calm and listen carefully. Be open to what the person has to say and embrace the suggestions that seem helpful.

 

Steinbrecher, S. (2017, April 18). How to criticize anyone (yes, even your boss) and maintain your relationship. Inc. Retrieved from: https://www.inc.com/susan-steinbrecher/how-to-criticize-anyone-yes-even-your-boss-and-maintain-your-relationship.html

 

What to Do When You Get Unwanted Advice

By in Communication No Comments Tags: , ,

Unwanted_Advice

Do you have coworkers who offer you advice – even if you didn’t ask for it or need it? It can sometimes be helpful. But it can also be annoying. Unsolicited and unwanted advice can feel like criticism. You might feel like your coworkers are getting involved because they don’t have confidence in your work or the approach that you’re taking.

So what should you do when you get unwanted advice from a coworker? First, put your pride aside and carefully evaluate what your coworker is saying. Forget about the fact that your coworker might be younger or less experienced than you. It doesn’t matter whether your coworker is a friend – or even friendly. Try to focus on what your coworker is saying and objectively ask yourself, “Is this good advice?” “Would this be an improvement on what I’m currently doing?” If the answer is “yes,” take your coworker’s advice and run with it. But if the answer is “no,” you need to let your coworker know that you’re going to be doing things your way.

But how do you do that nicely? How do you tell your helpful coworker that you’re going to ignore his or her advice? Here are a few things that you could say:

  • “Thanks for your input! But I’d really like to try and work through this on my own.”
  • “I like your suggestion. But I don’t think it’s a good fit for this particular project.”
  • “That’s a good idea, but the client/team/manager wants us to go in a different direction.”
  • “I really appreciate your help, but I already have a plan in mind.”

So remember – try not to get annoyed, be objective, keep an open mind, and (if necessary) let your coworker down easily. Good luck!

 

Kalish, A. (n.d.). 4 phrases to shut down unsolicited advice from your co-workers. The Muse. Retrieved from: https://www.themuse.com/advice/four-phrases-shut-down-unsolicited-advice-at-work

 

Working With Persnickety Clients

By in Communication, Learning No Comments Tags: ,

Difficult_Client

Working on projects with clients generally takes tact, diplomacy, good communication skills, a willingness to compromise – and sometimes, a lot of patience. This is especially true when you have clients who have a tendency to be a bit difficult and persnickety. I mean, you want to produce a good product and make your clients happy! But fussy clients can sometimes be difficult to please.

So if you find yourself in this type of situation, here are a few ways to keep things running smoothly:

  • View criticism in a positive light – If you share an idea, a mock-up, or first draft of a document with your clients, and they respond with a lot of criticism, try to see this as a positive thing! Even though it would have been wonderful if they had loved what you produced, their critical feedback is actually very valuable. It helps you to gain a better understanding of what they’re looking for. And it should help to get you all on the same page.
  • Try not to take it personally – It’s hard not to get upset when clients criticize something that you’ve worked hard on. But unfortunately, it’s often part of the job. Even though you’re doing quality work, people often have different opinions about how things should be done. Remember that it’s not a reflection on you or your skills.
  • Focus on finding solutions – If a client is unhappy with a sample or draft that you produced, you can apologize briefly. But don’t go overboard. Instead, try to focus on what will make the clients happy and what you can do to make them pleased and satisfied. Ask your clients to be specific about what they like and don’t like. Stay calm and positive.
  • Keep trying – Don’t give up. You CAN make these clients happy! Just keep listening to their feedback and trying to incorporate it into the product. Eventually you will be able to produce something that makes everyone satisfied!

 

Hamill, K. (2014, August 15). “I’m not happy”: What to do when a client hates your work. Freelancers Union. Retrieved from https://blog.freelancersunion.org/2014/08/15/im-not-happy-what-do-when-client-hates-your-work/

Pin It on Pinterest