Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize and understand both your own emotions and other peoples’ emotions. It’s the ability to use that information when deciding what to say and do. It involves empathy, self-regulation, and social skills.

Having a high level of emotional intelligence can be very beneficial! It can help you to build strong relationships with your coworkers, resolve conflicts, and overcome challenges. But not everyone is strong in this area. And the people who are lacking in it are often unaware of it.

So how do you know if you lack emotional intelligence? Well, according to an article in the Harvard Business Review, there are a few telltale signs:

  • Other people often misunderstand you, and it makes you feel frustrated.
  • People often overreact to your comments and jokes. You believe it’s because they’re oversensitive.
  • You don’t believe it’s important to be liked by your coworkers.
  • You’re quick to offer your opinions and then forcefully defend them.
  • You have high expectations for yourself and expect others to behave in the same way.
  • When something goes wrong on a project, you generally believe that your coworkers are to blame.
  • You feel annoyed when other people expect you to know how they’re feeling.

If these behaviors seem to describe you, it’s possibly that you may be low in emotional intelligence. But if that’s the case, don’t worry! You can increase your level of emotional intelligence by doing the following:

  • Ask people for honest feedback on your behavior, and listen to what they have to say without getting defensive.
  • Think about how the things you say might be interpreted by others and how it might make them feel. If it’s not what you intended, try to say it in a different way.
  • If you’re feeling upset or passionate about something, pause before you speak. Give yourself a minute to calm down, clear your head, and listen to what other people are saying.
  • Try to view the world from other peoples’ perspectives. Listen to other peoples’ points of view, and try to understand their positions.

Wilkins, M. M. (2014, December 31). Signs that you lack emotional intelligence. Harvard Business Review. Retrieved from: https://hbr.org/2014/12/signs-that-you-lack-emotional-intelligence