conflict resolution

Dealing With Conflict – Some Do’s and Don’ts

By in Communication, Learning Tags: ,

OfficeConflict

We’ve all experienced occasional conflicts with other people. That’s what happens when you live and work with others. It’s impossible to be in perfect harmony at all times.

But it feels terrible, doesn’t it? I know there are some people who kind of enjoy arguing – but personally, I hate conflict and confrontations. It makes me feel stressed and sad. So the more quickly I can resolve a conflict, the better!

Sometimes, however, resolving conflicts can be difficult – especially if you use the wrong approach. That’s why I found Alan Sharland’s article, “Conflict as an opportunity,” to be interesting. He provides some helpful “Do’s” and “Don’ts” on how to resolve conflicts with friends and coworkers.

Don’t do this…

  • Don’t treat the conflict like a competition. If you focus only on “winning,” it’s likely that the conflict will escalate and become more antagonistic. And even if you manage to resolve the conflict, bad feelings will almost certainly remain.
  • Don’t try to avoid the person that you’re having a conflict with. I think I’m guilty of this one. It seems like a nice way to avoid confrontation! But unfortunately, this approach often doesn’t work. Avoiding people actually takes a lot of time and energy. And the conflict will remain unresolved.

Do this…

  • Do think of logical and practical steps that you can take to resolve the conflict. Instead of just focusing on the problem, try to think of realistic changes that you or others could make to alleviate the situation.
  • Do view the situation from the other person’s point of view. Try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. You’re probably not entirely right and the other person is probably not entirely wrong.
  • Do think about how you’ve reacted to the situation. Conflicts can be hard, but also great learning opportunities. Try to gain some new insight into your own motivations and feelings.

 

Sharland, A. (2014). Conflict as an opportunity. Training + Development, 68(7), 60-64.

Resolving Conflicts When Working From Home

By in Communication Tags: ,

Annoying_Text

When you’re working from home and you get into a disagreement with a coworker, it can sometimes be difficult to resolve it. It’s not possible to stop by your coworker’s office, talk about the issue, and work through any slights or misunderstandings. You have to deal with it at a distance. And you might find yourself trying to resolve the conflict over texts and emails, which can sometimes be taken the wrong way or difficult to interpret.

But even though it can be hard to resolve conflicts when working from home, don’t just ignore the problem or let it escalate. There are definitely things you can do to fix things and make your relationship with your coworker better. Watch this video by Amy Gallo, author of the “HBR Guide to Dealing with Conflict,” to learn how.

…

How to Deal With an Angry Client

By in Communication Tags: , , , ,

Angry_Cat

Have you ever been faced with an angry customer or client? No matter what, it’s probably going to be tense and stressful. But you can make the situation less upsetting if you’re prepared. You need to know how to handle angry clients, mitigate their anger, and resolve the situation (if possible).

Follow these steps:

  1. Stay calm. Even if your clients are angry or yelling, don’t respond in kind. Take a deep breath, control your emotions, and keep a pleasant look on your face.
  2. Don’t take it personally. It’s hard not to get upset when clients are yelling at you and possibly criticizing something that you’ve worked hard on. But try to remember that even though you’re doing quality work, people often have different opinions about how things should be done. It’s not a reflection on you or your skills.
  3. Listen. When people are angry, they need to vent. They need to express why they’re angry and feel like they’re being heard. So listen to what your clients are saying. Don’t interrupt, cross your arms, or look impatient. Make eye contact, nod as your clients are speaking, and give them the opportunity to fully explain why they’re angry.
  4. Be sympathetic and apologize. After your clients have had the chance to express their feelings, show some sympathy. Tell them that you can understand why they’re unhappy. And then, even if it’s not your fault, apologize. Tell your clients that you’re sorry that they experienced this situation.
  5. Figure out a solution. Focus on what will make your clients happy and what you can do to make them pleased and satisfied. Ask your clients to be specific about what they think should be done. Remember to stay calm and positive. You might not be able to resolve the situation right away, but tell your clients that you’re going to make an effort to make things better.
  6. Take a break. After dealing with angry clients, you’ll probably feel physically and emotionally drained. So talk to a friendly coworker, take a short walk, or make yourself a cup of tea. Allow yourself a few minutes to relax and regroup.

 

Newtek. (2013, August 2). 7 steps for dealing with angry customers. Forbes. Retrieved from: https://www.forbes.com/sites/thesba/2013/08/02/7-steps-for-dealing-with-angry-customers/#6725c5b66d27

 

Sadako Peace Day

By in Holidays and Celebrations, Language Tags: , ,

Origami

千羽鶴 (Senbazuru).

A thousand paper cranes.

In Japanese mythology, cranes are mystical animals believed to have lived for a thousand years and bring luck and longevity. There is a legend in Japan that says if you can fold a thousand paper cranes, you will receive a wish, such as a long life or recovery from an illness.

On August 6, 1945, a nuclear bomb dropped in Hiroshima, Japan. A little girl only two years old named Sadako Sasaki had been in her home about two kilometers away from the explosion. Approximately ten years later, Sasaki was diagnosed with leukemia and was given, at most, a year to live.

According to the website maintained by her family, Sasaki was told of the legend of a thousand cranes. And after seeing other patients around her folding paper cranes in order to get a wish, she started on her own journey to fold cranes.

She lacked paper in the hospital, so she created these creatures with paper from get-well presents or wrappings from medicine bottles given to her. Her family and friends would often come by and help her fold more cranes as the days passed by.

By the end of August, Sasaki had folded a thousand cranes and continued to do so.

Sasaki passed away on October 25, 1955.

Of course, a legend is a legend. No one could predict what would happen with Sasaki, but unfortunately, she wasn’t able to survive the consequences of the bombing.

Perhaps the cranes didn’t listen to her wish. Perhaps they did, and she wished for something else instead. There is no final word on what Sasaki really wanted, and only she will know the truth.

This just helps to bring war into perspective.

About 80,000 victims died instantly in the Hiroshima bombing. Sadako Sasaki was just one of about 112,000 victims that later died as a result of its aftermath and radiation.

The Nuclear Age Peace Foundation holds an annual event around August 6th to remember Sadako Sasaki’s story and pay tribute to the victims of the Hiroshima and Nagasaki bombings.

As a result of war, innocent lives were taken.

Of course, this world will never be perfect. There will always be conflict, as it is normal behavior to show power through confrontation.

But stand up for peaceful solutions and try to find the best in a situation. Put yourselves in the shoes of those you fight against and understand them.

When the time comes, peace may turn your worst enemies into your best allies.

How to Fix a Bad Work Relationship

By in Communication Tags:

Bad_Work_Relationship

We all want to be good team players at the office. Life is just easier when everyone gets along. But no one is perfect, and work can sometimes be difficult and demanding. As a result, arguments can occur. Sometimes an argument with a colleague can be so extreme and upsetting that it can actually damage the work relationship.

So what should you do if this happens? Your first impulse might be to try to avoid the person who upset you. And you could glare at the person when you do cross paths. But this actually isn’t the best approach. Interpersonal conflict is stressful – not just for you and the other person involved in the argument, but also for everyone in your immediate vicinity. And research shows that when coworkers are angry with each other, it reduces their happiness and productivity. It’s not good to let things fester.

Instead, you need to try to resolve the problem and fix the relationship. You can do this by following these four steps:

  1. Recognize the fact that resolving things would benefit YOU – Trying to repair a damaged work relationship takes effort. But you need to realize that it’s worth it. Staying angry at a coworker is upsetting and distracting. You’ll get much more work done (and do a better job) if you can ease the tension.
  2. Think about how you might have contributed to the problem – I’m sure that you’re practically perfect and always right! But still, it’s possible that you might have contributed to the conflict. Think about the disagreement and try to see the situation from the other person’s perspective. Is there something that you could have done or said differently that would have prevented the problem? Going forward, is there something that you can change that would help to alleviate the situation?
  3. Talk about it – It’s great that you’ve decided that you want to repair your bad work relationship. But in order to fix things, you and your coworker need to work together. Try to talk to your coworker about it. For instance, you could say, “I know that we’ve had some disagreements in the past because we have such different ways of getting work done. But I’d really like it if we could change things on this next project. I was wondering if we could come up with some ways to work together better. Would that be OK?”
  4. Avoid old patterns – Even if you talk things out with your coworker and reach an understanding, you still need to make a conscious effort to avoid old, detrimental behaviors. For example, if you always roll your eyes when your coworker arrives late to a meeting, you might continue to do it without even realizing it. When working and interacting with your coworker, try to think before you act.

Fixing a bad work relationship isn’t easy. But remember, it is worth the effort. Good luck!

 

Clark, D. (2014, June 5). How to repair a damaged professional relationship. Harvard Business Review. Retrieved from: https://hbr.org/2014/06/how-to-repair-a-damaged-professional-relationship

Tensions at Work

By in Relationship Awareness Tags: , , ,

WorkTension

In almost any industry, there are tensions between groups of people. Creative people often call financial people “bean counters,” and they aren’t being complimentary. Ask nurses what they think about doctors, and you’ll hear stories of arrogance and self-importance. Go to any technology company, and you’ll hear about the sales force — people who will promise anything to get their commission without any idea about how the work will actually get done. Ask an NCO in the military, and you’ll hear about officers fresh out of school who don’t have a clue. People who work in the pharmaceutical industry talk about the conflicts between the marketing people and the people who work in compliance. Sales and marketing folks clash because the sales people are trying to sell through a process of dialogue while the marketing people are focused on the marketing message. Almost every industry has these conflicts.

Universities are no different. Go to any university, and the faculty will complain about the staff and the staff will complain about the faculty. You will hear that the faculty are arrogant and have a sense of entitlement, and that the staff are lazy, incompetent time-wasters.

The truth is that most people are diligent, hard working, conscientious, and honest. Finding fault with a whole group of people in your workplace is easy. It’s harder to figure out ways to work together, appreciate the skills and good will of one another, and complement one another rather than enter into unproductive combat.

Tensions can be healthy if approached the right way. Perhaps the best advice on how to turn unproductive bickering and name calling into productivity is to follow the fifth habit described by Steven Covey in The 7 Habit of Highly Effective People: “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.”

It all boils down to approaching conflict with curiosity and developing seriously good listening skills.

 

Covey, S. R. (2004). The 7 habits of highly effective people: Restoring the character ethic. New York, NY: Free Press.

 

 

 

Conflict — How Do You Manage It?

By in University Culture Tags: ,

Conflict1

Conflict is a part of life. The ability to resolve a conflict is an essential interpersonal skill.

There are different approaches to conflict resolution. Many believe that there are five options: avoidance, accommodation, competition, compromise, and collaboration.

There is no approach that’s best. It really depends on the type of conflict that you’re experiencing. Different approaches work well in different situations. But understanding yourself and knowing more about the different approaches to conflict resolution will help you to handle conflict more effectively. It will help you to think reasonably and flexibly, and choose the approach that best fits the situation.

Try taking this online assessment to discover which approach you favor, and to learn more about all five options. You might also consider taking this assessment with a trusted colleague! It could spark an interesting conversation, and help you to determine whether you see yourself the same way that others see you.

http://academic.engr.arizona.edu/vjohnson/ConflictManagementQuestionnaire/ConflictManagementQuestionnaire.asp