stress

Having a Bad Day? Here’s How to Make It Better.

By in Learning, Living Well Tags: ,

Bad_Day

Everyone has a terrible day once in a while. It’s that day when you lose your keys, you feel overwhelmed at work, you spill coffee all over your favorite shirt, and your cat throws up on your white carpet. It’s the kind of day when nothing seems to go right.

When you’re in the middle of a terrible day, it often seems like there’s nothing that can make it better. But actually, there are almost always things that you can do to improve your situation – at least a little bit.

Here are four ways to make a bad day a little bit better.

  1. Remind yourself that your luck will change. Even if everything seems to be going wrong at the moment, remind yourself that it’s only a temporary condition. Your luck will change for the better eventually!
  2. Be good to yourself. We often tend to be our worst critics. So when things go wrong, we often tell ourselves that we’re stupid, clumsy, or incompetent. Try to avoid that kind of thing if you can. Be kind to yourself and cut yourself a little slack.
  3. Give yourself a treat. Is there a little something that you can do to make yourself feel better? Maybe buy yourself a tasty snack, go for a walk around your neighborhood, or take a hot bath? Do something for yourself that will bring you a little enjoyment. (And if you’re not sure what that might be, spend a little time thinking about it. Come up with a list of five activities that bring you pleasure so you’re ready for the next terrible day that comes along!)
  4. Accomplish something. Get something done, even if it’s just a little thing. Neaten up your living room, hang a picture, or mow your front lawn. Accomplishing a task will make you feel better about yourself and the day in general.

 

Boyes, A. (2015, July 27). 5 tips for coping with a really bad day. Psychology Today. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-practice/201507/5-tips-coping-really-bad-day

 

The Benefits of Stress

By in Learning, Living Well Tags:

StressedOut

Imagine that you’re about to take an important exam. The results of this exam will shape your future, so you’re understandably nervous! How should you deal with these feelings?

A.  Try to calm down.
B.  Go ahead and be nervous – and tell yourself that it will help you do better on your exam.

Most people would probably answer “A.” It’s commonly believed that we can’t perform well if we’re too anxious or stressed. But according to an article in the Wall Street Journal, the better answer is actually “B.” Researchers have found that students who are told to embrace their feelings of anxiety (and view these feelings as beneficial) actually do better on their exams.

In a similar study, people were asked to give a stress-inducing speech. Half were told to relax and “calm down” beforehand. The other half were told to embrace their anxiety, and view their feelings as “excitement.” In the end, the stressed-out, excited group gave much better speeches. They were more engaging, confident, and persuasive than the people who had tried to relax before going on stage.

So it seems that stress and anxiety is not always a bad thing. Sometimes, it can be really helpful!

Try to keep that in mind the next time you’re about to do something nerve-wracking! Don’t try to calm down. And skip the relaxation exercises. Instead, accept your feelings of anxiety, and tell yourself that these emotions will help you to perform better. Make your anxiety work to your advantage!

McGonigal, K. (2015, May 16-17). Stressed out? Embrace it. The Wall Street Journal, p. C3.

How to Stop Overthinking Things at Work

By in Living Well Tags: , , ,

Overthinking

There’s nothing more draining than constantly overthinking things at work. What is overthinking? It’s when you think about something too much. It’s when you question yourself (and doubt yourself) about every step you make. It’s when you worry about every detail, and find yourself unable to make basic decisions.

Overthinking things causes so much stress. And it keeps you from moving forward and making progress. It’s hard to get things done when you’re constantly questioning whether you’re doing things right or taking the correct steps.

So how can you avoid overthinking things at work? Author Melody Wilding has a few suggestions:

  • Try not to be a perfectionist – It’s great that you take pride in your work and want to do a good job. But in many cases (especially when working on team projects in which you don’t have full control over the end product), it’s simply not possible to be perfect. So being a perfectionist can be incredibly stressful and make you agonize over every decision you make. If you believe every single thing that you do must be perfect, it can be very hard to make any progress. To avoid this problem, try to remind yourself that you don’t need to be perfect – you simply need to do your best. And your best work is something to be proud of. In addition, try not to look too far into the future (and worry about the end product). Just focus on completing the small tasks that will eventually get you to your goal.
  • Don’t stress about the small stuff – Not every project is essential and important. Not every thing that you do will have a “make or break” effect on your career. Most of the tasks that you complete during your workday are probably pretty routine, and most of your decisions probably won’t have a huge impact on people. So try not to worry too much about the small stuff. Minor tasks and decisions are not worth that much stress or energy.
  • Trust your intuition – If you’re conflicted about what to do on a project, it’s a good idea to gather whatever information you can, assess what you’ve learned, and then make your decision. But when you have to act quickly and you don’t have a lot of data, intuition is a very effective tool. In these instances, your intuition can guide you in the right direction. You should trust in it.
  • Decrease the number of decisions that you have to make – Lighten your load (and stress level) by decreasing the number of decisions that you have to make during the day. Create daily routines to follow so you no longer have to waste energy deciding what to wear, what to eat, when to take breaks, etc. The fewer decisions you have to make, the more time and energy you’ll have to devote to your more important work.
  • Give yourself some deadlines – A good way to force yourself to stop overthinking things, take action, and move forward is to give yourself an arbitrary deadline. Tell yourself that you’re going to complete a certain project in a week (even if it’s not due for three weeks). That will force you to push forward, and will give you less time to stress about every decision you make.

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Wilding, M. (2021, February 10). How to stop overthinking everything. Harvard Business Review. Retrieved from: https://hbr.org/2021/02/how-to-stop-overthinking-everything

Working From Home – Coping With Burnout

By in Living Well Tags: , ,

WorkingFromHomeBurnout

The pandemic has changed the way we live our lives. Our regular daily schedules have been turned upside down, and our homes have become our worlds. It’s the place where we work, eat, go to school, exercise, socialize, and vacation.

If you’re able to work from home, I’m sure you’re grateful! But still, it can be challenging. You may find it difficult to separate your work life from your home life. Since the workday no longer ends when you leave the office, it often seems to extend throughout the day and evening, and you may feel like you’re expected to work at all hours. Everything kind of blurs together, making it difficult to unplug and truly relax.

Feeling like you’re on-call all the time coupled with the stress of the pandemic can lead to exhaustion and ultimately, burnout. Signs of burnout include such things as forgetting to complete tasks, missing deadlines, feeling depressed, feeling pessimistic about work, sleeping poorly, and feeling fatigued all the time.

If you’re experiencing work-from-home burnout, you’re certainly not alone! And there are steps that you can take to make things better. Here are a few things to try:

  • Communicate with your boss regularly – Build a relationship with your boss. Make sure he or she knows what you’re working on, how your projects are going, and if you’ve encountered any roadblocks. And if you’re feeling overwhelmed, be honest about it. If your workload is simply too heavy to manage, talk to your manager about prioritizing your work, and then focus on the most important items.
  • Create a schedule – Decide what time you’re going to get up every morning, and establish a morning routine that prepares you for the day. (That might involve taking a nice hot shower, cuddling with your cat while drinking coffee, or taking a brisk walk.) Also, decide what hours you’re going to work. Schedule regular breaks during the day, and during those breaks you should step away from your computer, stretch, rest your eyes, and get some fresh air. Finally, choose a time when you’re officially “off the clock” each day, and stick to it. Talk to your boss about your proposed schedule, and make sure he or she knows when you’ll be online and when you won’t.
  • Take control – A lot of things are out of your control right now, and that can make you feel helpless. To combat that feeling, try to take control of the things you can. For instance, you could make an effort to eat regularly, and try to eat healthy meals and snacks. Another thing that you can control is your bedtime. Try to create a nighttime routine that will help you to relax, unwind, and get a good night’s sleep.
  • Take some time for yourself – Once you’re done with work for the day, take the time to do things that you truly enjoy. Play that new video game. Take a hike in the woods. Work on the hobby that you’re passionate about. Play with your pet. Do the things that distract you from work and bring you joy.
  • Reach out to other people – Make sure to talk to friends and family regularly. Give them a call, if you’re unable to meet in person. It will help you to combat the feelings of loneliness that you might be experiencing, and make everything a little easier.

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Yurcaba, J. (n.d.). Work-from-home burnout is real – here’s how to recover. The Muse. Retrieved from: https://www.themuse.com/advice/work-from-home-burnout-coronavirus-pandemic

Managing Two Bosses

By in Communication Tags: , , ,

TwoBosses

It’s not unusual for people to have more than one boss. According to a 2017 Gallup survey, 44% of U.S. workers report to more than one person. This can sometimes lead to stress and conflict, especially if the two bosses are demanding that the employee devote all of his or her time to different projects. It can be a very difficult balancing act. But according to author Joann Lublin, it is possible to make it work. Just follow these steps:

  • Talk about expectations – Find out what your bosses expect from you. And if it seems like those expectations might conflict with each other (or there simply isn’t enough time in the day to complete all of the tasks they’ve assigned to you), make sure to discuss it with your bosses right away, before problems arise. Ask them to work with you to prioritize the work that you’ve been given. Hopefully they’ll be able to compromise, and you’ll be able to get your projects done without feeling overworked or overwhelmed.
  • Communicate frequently – Talk to both of your bosses regularly. They should both know what you’re working on, how it’s going, whether you’ve encountered any obstacles, when you expect to be finished, and what you’re going to be working on next. Talk to them every day, if you can. If both of your bosses are always fully informed about what you’re working on, they won’t feel slighted or ignored. They’ll know that you’re committed to getting their projects done.
  • Go over their heads (but only if absolutely necessary) – If your bosses just can’t seem to agree on what you should be working on, and you have multiple deadlines that you can’t meet, it might be time to talk to your bosses’ boss. This could make your bosses angry, so only do it as a last resort. And don’t blindside your bosses. Tell them that you’re going to contact their boss in an effort to work through the conflict and reach a compromise.
  • Give priority to the boss who has the most control over your future – Of course it’s important to try to please both of your bosses. But you might want to try the hardest with the boss who has control over whether you get a raise or a promotion. The boss who holds the most sway over you is the most important one to impress.

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Lublin, J. S. (2020, August 3). When you have two bosses. The Wall Street Journal. p. R4.

Dealing With a Panicky Coworker

By in Communication Tags: , ,

Stressed_Coworker

Do you have coworkers who always seems to be under a lot of stress? Whenever you talk to them, they tell you that they’re overwhelmed, overworked, panicky, and exhausted. Every task that they have to complete needs to be done RIGHT AWAY. And everything is an emergency.

It can be hard to work with this type of colleague. Stress is contagious, and collaborating with a stressed-out coworker can make you start to feel anxious. But it is possible to have a healthy working relationship with a panicky coworker. Author Rebecca Knight suggests that you follow these steps:

  • Be kind – It’s easy to get frustrated and annoyed with a coworker who is constantly stressed. But you should try to be understanding. You don’t know what’s going on in your coworker’s life. He or she might be dealing with a lot of stressful issues at home. So try not to be judgmental.
  • Don’t avoid it – When your coworker talks to you about feeling overworked and stressed out, don’t immediately change the subject or try to shut your coworker down by saying something like “I guess we’re all feeling stressed out these days!” Instead, let your coworker know that you’ve heard what he or she is saying, and you understand. A good response might be something as simple as “That must be so difficult.” Once you’ve acknowledged the person’s stress, you can move on to other topics.
  • Be complimentary – Pay your panicky coworker a compliment. Tell the person that you think he or she is doing good work on a certain project. Your sincere compliment will make your coworker feel more positive and empowered, and hopefully help to alleviate his or her level of stress.
  • Offer to help – If you have the time, you could offer to help your coworker with his or her current workload. But be careful not to take on too much! Be very clear about how much time you have to give, and how many tasks you can complete. Your offer to help will make your coworker feel supported, and help your coworker realize that he or she is not alone.
  • Be specific – When you need your stressed-out coworker to complete some sort of task for you, send an email that’s very brief and specific. If you need this individual to complete a larger project, break it down into doable chunks, and indicate the order in which they must be done. Try to assign the work in a way that won’t make your coworker feel confused or overwhelmed.
  • Protect yourself – If you feel like you’re getting too deeply involved in your coworker’s stress and unhappiness, distance yourself from it. Take a break from talking to that coworker and try to relax. It’s important to protect your own mental health.

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Knight, R. (2017, August 7). How to work with someone who’s always stressed out. Harvard Business Review. Retrieved from: https://hbr.org/2017/08/how-to-work-with-someone-whos-always-stressed-out

Holiday Stress – And Cat Videos

By in Holidays and Celebrations Tags: , ,

happy cat looks up

A few years ago, I wrote an article about the soothing nature of cat videos. A researcher at Indiana University found that people who watch cat videos reported feeling less stressed, negative, and anxious. Videos of adorable cats helped to make viewers feel more positive and energetic.

Now I don’t know about you, but I think the holiday season can be a stressful time of year. You’ve still got all of your regular work to do at the office, but you also have so many things to get done in your off-hours. It can sometimes feel a little exhausting and overwhelming.

So if you’re feeling some holiday stress (like I am), I thought it might be a good idea for us all to take a couple minutes to enjoy a cat video. I posted a particularly nice one below. Watch and enjoy! And I hope you have a happy (and relaxing) holiday!

Coping With a Competitive Coworker

By in Learning Tags: , ,

Chess board game, winner winning situation, encounter serious enemy, business competitive concept

Competitive coworkers can be a challenge to work with. They’re desperate to get ahead. They’ll take any opportunity to promote themselves, and even take credit for things they didn’t necessarily do. They won’t mention other team members’ contributions. And they may even discredit other people’s work in an effort to make themselves look better.

Do you have a competitive coworker? If so, you might be feeling stressed and upset. It’s really difficult to have a coworker who is always trying to get attention and acclaim – especially when it’s at your expense.

So what should you do if you find yourself in this situation? Author Gloria Larson has a few suggestions.

  • Form a friendship – One of the best ways to deal with a competitive coworker is to befriend him or her. Sure, you might not like your competitive coworker very much. And your coworker might not be that interested in being friendly with you either. But if you work at it, you might be able to discover your coworker’s good qualities and find some common ground. And most importantly, you’ll be able to turn a competitor into a friend and ally.
  • Enhance your skills – If you really can’t stomach the idea of befriending your competitive coworker, use that person as a motivating force instead. Start working on enhancing your skills and abilities. Learn new techniques and broaden your repertoire. You’ll be such an asset to the team that there will be no need for you to feel stressed or threatened by your competitive counterpart.
  • Take the high ground – Always behave in an honest, respectful manner – even towards your competitive coworker. Your behavior might inspire your coworker to change. But even if that doesn’t happen, you should still be kind, fair, helpful, and professional. Your other teammates will appreciate it, and you’ll all be happier and more productive.

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Larson, G. (n.d.) How you can use a co-worker’s competitiveness to your advantage. The Muse. Retrieved from: https://www.themuse.com/advice/how-you-can-use-a-coworkers-competitiveness-to-your-advantage

The Surprising Truth About Multitasking

By in Living Well Tags: , ,

Cartoon Man Multitasking with Sticky Notes

I think a lot of us believe that multitasking is a good thing. When we multitask at work, we feel like we’re being really productive. We can be on a conference call and respond to an email at the same time! We can answer a coworker’s questions while editing a document! We can work on a project while simultaneously planning a weekend getaway! No problem!

But in reality, multitasking is not especially efficient or effective. When we multitask, we’re not actually working on multiple things at the same time. We’re just switching back and forth between tasks, instead of focusing on one thing at a time. And this can have negative consequences. Researchers have found that constantly shifting our focus can lead to the following:

  • A pronounced drop in productivity (as much as 40%)
  • Increased mistakes and a lack of quality control
  • Stress and exhaustion

And apparently, people who believe that they’re really good at multitasking tend to be the worst at it. Researchers have found that people who multitask heavily are less able to get things done effectively than people who only multitask a little bit. It seems that when it comes to multitasking, the more you do it, the worse off you are.

So what should you do if you’re devoted to multitasking? How can you stop? Author Peter Bregman suggests that you follow these steps:

  1. Get rid of distractions. Close your office door, put your cell phone in your desk drawer, and try to separate yourself from anything else that tends to divert your attention.    
  2. Establish some tight deadlines. Try giving yourself a tight deadline for a task that you need to complete. The self-imposed deadline will help you to focus on getting the task done. And focusing on a single task will help you to feel less stressed and more productive!
  3. Don’t panic if you have to multitask a little bit. Life can be crazy sometimes. So if you have to bounce back and forth between tasks once in a while, it’s not the end of the world. Don’t beat yourself up about it!

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Bregman, P. (2010, May 20). How (and why) to stop multitasking. Harvard Business Review. Retrieved from: https://hbr.org/2010/05/how-and-why-to-stop-multitaski.html

The Problem With Being Too Engaged at Work

By in Learning Tags: ,

Tired female employee suffer from headache at workplace

Have you ever heard of having “too much of a good thing”? For instance, eating one delicious piece of chocolate cake is great. But eating twenty slices would probably make you feel sick.

Well, the same is true of work engagement. We all know that it’s good to be engaged at work. People who feel engaged try harder. They’re more motivated, upbeat, and productive. But surprisingly, researchers have found that it’s actually possible to be too engaged at work. And people who are too engaged tend to be less than stellar employees.

People who are too engaged see their work as “a calling.” It’s their purpose. They feel like they must do their work their way, even if they’re asked to do things differently. They’re often unwilling to compromise or work with others. And they don’t have a lot of respect for authority.

As a result, these highly engaged people can be difficult to manage and hard to work with. This problem can get worse over time, and the quality of their work can suffer.

These highly engaged people may also experience problems in their personal lives. Researchers have found that they’re more likely to feel stressed at work. And they’re also more likely to take their work frustrations home with them, and possibly take it out on their friends and family members.

So what should be done to alleviate this problem? Some researchers suggest that managers should ease up on their efforts to engage employees. Instead of trying to enhance engagement in their entire department, managers should focus their attention on boosting engagement in detached employees only.

And even though it can be difficult, managers should talk to overly engaged employees about their behavior, and try to come up with ways to make the situation better. It’s hard to deliver negative feedback, but it can be very beneficial.   

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Dizik, A. (2019, August 12). The problem with very engaged employees. The Wall Street Journal. Retrieved from: https://www.wsj.com/articles/beware-of-employees-who-are-very-engaged-in-their-work-11565575620

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