etiquette

How to Avoid Answering Personal Questions at Work (Without Hurting Anyone’s Feelings)

By in Communication Tags: , ,

Avoiding_Questions

It’s great to form friendships with your coworkers. Work friends are important! Research indicates that work friends help to make us more productive, focused, happy, healthy, and engaged.

But even though you might be close with your coworkers, there still might be things going on in your life that are private and that you’d rather not discuss. So, what should you do when you’re asked a personal question that you don’t want to answer? Saying something like “I don’t want to answer that” would certainly be direct, but it might also come across as harsh and unfriendly.

Here’s a different approach. It’s an easy two-step process that author Laura Dorwart says will allow you to dodge your coworker’s question without hurting their feelings.  

Step 1: Provide a short, generic, “non-answer”

Answer your coworker’s question by saying something so short and generic that it actually tells them nothing. Here are a few options:

  • “We’ll see!”
  • “Time will tell.”
  • “Oh, you know how it goes.”
  • “Who can say?”
  • “It is what it is.”
  • “Fine.”

Step 2: Pivot

The next step is to quickly change the subject by asking your coworker a question about an unrelated topic. It could be about work, what their plans are for the weekend, or how their dog is doing. It doesn’t really matter. You’re just trying to redirect the conversation.

Now here’s an example of both steps being used together…

  • Coworker: “How are things going with your relationship problems?”
  • You: “Oh, you know how it goes. Say, what are planning to order for lunch today?”

And that’s it! You have successfully avoided answering an awkward personal question without being rude or abrupt.

If you have tips or suggestions about other ways that this can be done, please feel free to share them in the Comments section below!

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Dorwart, L. (2019, February 13). 17 amazing tricks for dodging unwanted questions. Best Life. Retrieved from: https://bestlifeonline.com/avoid-unwanted-questions/

Cubicle Etiquette

By in Living Well Tags: ,

Working_in_Cubicle

Now that many of us are returning to the office, people are going to be sitting in cubicles again. If you’re one of those people, you know that there can be a lot of distractions. Without office walls to separate you from your coworkers, you probably have to deal with a lot of background noise and frequent interruptions. It may sometimes be hard for you to focus and get your work done. And there may be times when you irritate your fellow cubicle-dwellers without even meaning to.

When a bunch of people are working in close quarters, it’s important for everyone to follow certain etiquette rules. Author Joyce Russell recommends the following:

  • Don’t pop your head over a cubicle wall in order to ask your neighbor something – even if the wall is low. It’s intrusive and generally not appreciated.
  • Don’t call out to someone who is across the room.
  • If you have something that you need to say to your coworker, walk to the entrance of his or her cubicle and knock on the wall (as if it were a door). Then ask your coworker if he or she has a minute to talk. If your coworker is busy, come back later.
  • When your coworker is on the phone or appears to be deep in thought, don’t attempt to silently communicate with him or her using exaggerated facial expressions or hand gestures. Just come back later.
  • Don’t borrow items from your coworkers’ desks without asking. They’ll notice that their stapler is missing, trust me.
  • Don’t use your speakerphone.
  • Lower the volume of your cell phone ring tone or set it to “silent.”
  • Don’t play loud music.
  • And try not to produce strong smells (through the use of perfumes, air fresheners, or stinky foods). If you want to eat tuna fish, it might be best to do it in the lunchroom rather than at your desk.

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Russell, J. E. A. (2011, August 14). Career coach: 15 rules of etiquette for the cubicle. The Washington Post. Retrieved from: https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/capitalbusiness/career-coach-15-rules-of-etiquette-for-the-cubicle/2011/08/10/gIQARJKXFJ_story.html

How to Use Technology Without Annoying Your Coworkers

By in Technology Tags: , ,

Annoyed_By_Technology

Before the COVID-19 crisis, we certainly used technology to communicate at work. We made phone calls. We sent emails and instant messages. And maybe, occasionally, we participated in an online meeting or video conference call.

But today, with many of us working from home, technology has suddenly become the primary way to communicate with clients and coworkers. Technology is now absolutely crucial to getting our work done. For that reason, many of us are using workplace technology much more frequently than we ever have in the past. (Before the COVID-19 crisis happened, I almost never attended a video conference call. In the last two weeks, I’ve attended more of them than I can even count.)

For that reason, the small annoyances that often go along with the use of workplace technology are suddenly becoming more irritating than usual. Sometimes it’s the technology itself that’s at fault. But more often than not, it’s the people using the technology that are the source of the irritation.

Author Alexandra Samuel compiled a list of the technology-related behaviors that can drive other people crazy. To avoid annoying your coworkers, try NOT to do the following:

  • Add tons of names to the cc field when sending emails – Although it only takes a minute to add several peoples’ names to the cc field of an email and you might feel like you’re responsibly covering all your bases, it’s generally not a good idea. When you cc lots of people, it clogs up other people’s inboxes. And if someone actually hits “reply all” in response to your email, the situation only gets worse. To avoid causing an explosion of emails, try to only cc people when absolutely necessary.
  • Take a long time to respond to a message or request – You might be really busy. But if you take days to respond to coworkers’ emails, you’re going to cause them to feel a lot of stress and frustration. Try your best to respond as soon as you can. And if you know that you won’t be able to get back to them for a while, at least send a message telling them that you received their request and that you’ll get back to them in a few days.
  • Send the same request in multiple ways – If you email your coworker with a request and you don’t get a rapid response, don’t immediately send the same request in an instant message and a text. The coworker that you’re bombarding with messages will most likely be annoyed and confused. He or she may not even be sure how to respond. (Should your coworker reply to the email? Or the text? Or both?) Try to limit yourself to one form of communication.
  • Subject your coworkers to your cell phone noises during conference calls – During a conference call, it’s important to mute your line when you’re not talking. But it’s also a good idea to silence your cell phone. Otherwise, when it’s your turn to talk, others may have to listen to your phone ringing and beeping in the background. It’s distracting.
  • Resist using new forms of technology – Change can be scary and new forms of technology can be intimidating. But when you’re working remotely, it’s important to be open to trying new ways of communicating and sharing information. If you’re unwilling to try, it can really cause problems when you’re collaborating with your coworkers on projects. So do your best to give that new technology a chance. And if you consider yourself to be tech-savvy, try to help out your coworkers who might be having a harder time. Everyone is probably feeling kind of stressed out these days. So a little bit of kindness would go a long way.

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Samuel, A. (2020, March 6). The tech habits of co-workers that drive us crazy. The Wall Street Journal, pp. R1-R3.

What to Do When You Can’t Get a Response to Your Email

By in Learning Tags: ,

Email_Stress

Have you ever emailed a question or request to a colleague, only to get no response? It’s kind of hard to know what to do! You need the issue to be addressed – but at the same time, you don’t want to keep harassing the person and come across as an annoying pest.

I had this happen to me recently. I needed someone in another department to help me out with a project I was working on. I emailed my request and got no response. Time passed and I started to feel a little panicked. (I had a deadline to meet.) So I emailed again. And once again, there was no response.

Now to be fair, the colleagues that I was emailing were very busy people. And I suspect that my request was not a simple one. But I still couldn’t help feeling frustrated and powerless. I wasn’t sure how to proceed. How can you get people to respond to an email when they’re really busy and you’re probably not their top priority?

Author Ashley Corbert has a few suggestions…

  • Make sure your initial email is clear, concise, and amiable – Don’t write an epic email with multiple lengthy paragraphs of text. Keep it brief and be very clear about what you need from the other person. And be nice! Your request will probably take a certain amount of time and effort, so make sure your email has a warm and friendly tone.
  • Follow up – If you don’t get a response to your first email, it’s time to send another email. Re-send your original email, but include a new line of text that reminds the person about your original request. This email can sometimes be tricky to write, because you don’t want to come across as annoying. Just keep it brief and friendly, and you should be OK.
  • Call the person – If it’s been a couple days since you sent your follow-up email and you still haven’t gotten a response, try to call the person. If you can reach the person, you’re all set! If you can’t reach the person, leave a brief, friendly voicemail about your request.
  • Get your boss involved – If you’ve left a voicemail, and you STILL get no response, you might want to consider getting your boss involved. You could re-send your original email again, include a new, friendly line of text restating your request, and cc your boss. This might spur the person into action. But be warned – you do run to risk of angering your colleague.
  • Find additional support – Another option is to talk to someone who knows the person that you’re trying to contact and has a certain amount of influence over that person. Explain your situation (and be very careful not to be angry or accusatory). This influential individual might be able to push the person to finally respond to your request.

 

Corbert, A. (n.d.). Get an answer already! How to deal with people who won’t respond. The Muse. Retrieved from https://www.themuse.com/advice/get-an-answer-already-how-to-deal-with-people-who-wont-respond

 

What to Do When People Mispronounce Your Name

By in Communication Tags: ,

Wrong_Name

I have a strange last name. And it’s not pronounced the way it looks, which causes added confusion. So I’m used to people mispronouncing my name, and I no longer try to correct them. It happens at work all the time. If people get it vaguely right, that’s good enough for me.

But it seems that I may be going about things all wrong. According to certain career experts, your name is your “brand,” so it’s important for people to get it right. In addition, if people consistently mispronounce your name, the mispronunciation will get deeply ingrained in their minds and be hard for them to correct later.

So what should you do if someone mispronounces your name? Well, it kind of depends on how well you know the person…

  • If you don’t know the person very well – Reintroduce yourself. You could say something like, “Hi, we met earlier. My name is Emily Haubensak and I work at JHU.”
  • If you know the person pretty well – Don’t correct the person when there are other people around. Wait until you can talk privately, and then tell the person how your name should be pronounced. Make sure you use the proper tone. Be friendly, rather than annoyed or defensive. No one likes to make mistakes, so the person will probably appreciate the information. Good luck!

 

Griswold, A. (2013, November 25). The proper way to correct people who mispronounce your name. Business Insider. Retrieved from http://www.businessinsider.com/proper-way-to-correct-people-who-mispronounce-your-name-2013-11

 

Surviving Awkward Moments

By in Humor, Learning Tags: , ,

Awkward_Moment

Human interactions can sometimes be so complex and awkward! If you’ve ever waved back at someone who wasn’t actually waving at you, or forgotten someone’s name two seconds after the person told you what it was, you know what I’m talking about.

That’s why I particularly enjoyed this list of “The 11 Most Awkward Moments That Happen When You Physically Greet Someone.” (I can especially relate to items 3, 6, and 10!) It includes both handy illustrations and tips on how to avoid or alleviate various cringe worthy situations.

When you’re short like me, it can sometimes be hard to figure out where everyone’s arms should go.
When you’re short like me, it can sometimes be hard to figure out where everyone’s arms should go.

 

Have you ever experienced any of these situations? Feel free to share your stories (and helpful suggestions) in the Comments section below!

 

Pyle, N. W. (2014, May 22). The 11 most awkward moments that happen when you physically greet someone. BuzzFeed. Retrieved from http://www.buzzfeed.com/nathanwpyle/the-11-most-awkward-moments-that-happen-when-you-physically#.hcYWx44PXq

 

Holding Doors – Are You Going Too Far?

By in Humor Tags: ,

OpeningDoor

I work in a friendly, busy building. People are always coming and going – which means that I’m often holding the door for fellow coworkers. This seems like the right thing to do. If there’s someone right behind you as you’re entering a building, you should hold the door, right? But what if the person is 10 feet behind you? Or 15 feet behind you? What then?

I sometimes struggle with this dilemma – which is why I found this cartoon by Reza Farazmand of Poorly Drawn Lines to be so entertaining. It’s clear that I’m not the only one who has issues!

holding-doors

Unfortunately, I suspect that I often fall into that “Awkward” category. I might need to rethink my door-holding behavior!

Do you have guidelines that you follow when it comes to holding doors? If so, please share them in the Comments section below!

 

Using Business Cards in International Environments

By in Diversity, Learning Tags: , , , ,

Business_Card

I have business cards, but I must admit that I find it harder and harder to see the point of them. Quite often, I will ask a colleague to send me an email with contact information because that’s efficient and environmentally friendly.

If you travel globally, however, think again. In many cultures, particularly Asian ones, the exchange of business cards is something of a ritual. It isn’t just important to do it — you also have to follow a few basic rules. Here are a few tips:

Giving Business Cards

  1. Make sure your business cards are in pristine condition. Carry them in a case. (Never use a rubber band to hold a stack of them together.)
  2. Present the business card as if you are giving a gift. Use both hands, if possible. Otherwise use your right hand. Make sure that the person can read it immediately without turning it around.
  3. If you often do business in a particular country, consider having your card translated with one side in English, and the other side in the local language. Include the international country code for your telephone number on your card. The United States should be written as +1, for example.
  4. Present your card while standing. Never “deal” your cards as if you are playing poker!
  5. Always have your business card ready to present. In some cultures, not having a business card is rather like refusing to shake hands.

Receiving Business Cards

  1. Thank the person for the card. In Japan, a quick bow is appropriate.
  2. Accept the card with both hands. Handle it carefully and delicately.
  3. Take your time to read the card carefully.
  4. After studying the card, begin a friendly conversation that acknowledges that you’ve absorbed the information on the card. You may like to comment on the person’s profession, the office location, or the company.
  5. After sitting down for your meeting, place the card in front of you.
  6. Never write on a person’s card. And don’t even think of shoving it in your back pocket and sitting on it.