questions

How to Avoid Answering Personal Questions at Work (Without Hurting Anyone’s Feelings)

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Avoiding_Questions

It’s great to form friendships with your coworkers. Work friends are important! Research indicates that work friends help to make us more productive, focused, happy, healthy, and engaged.

But even though you might be close with your coworkers, there still might be things going on in your life that are private and that you’d rather not discuss. So, what should you do when you’re asked a personal question that you don’t want to answer? Saying something like “I don’t want to answer that” would certainly be direct, but it might also come across as harsh and unfriendly.

Here’s a different approach. It’s an easy two-step process that author Laura Dorwart says will allow you to dodge your coworker’s question without hurting their feelings.  

Step 1: Provide a short, generic, “non-answer”

Answer your coworker’s question by saying something so short and generic that it actually tells them nothing. Here are a few options:

  • “We’ll see!”
  • “Time will tell.”
  • “Oh, you know how it goes.”
  • “Who can say?”
  • “It is what it is.”
  • “Fine.”

Step 2: Pivot

The next step is to quickly change the subject by asking your coworker a question about an unrelated topic. It could be about work, what their plans are for the weekend, or how their dog is doing. It doesn’t really matter. You’re just trying to redirect the conversation.

Now here’s an example of both steps being used together…

  • Coworker: “How are things going with your relationship problems?”
  • You: “Oh, you know how it goes. Say, what are planning to order for lunch today?”

And that’s it! You have successfully avoided answering an awkward personal question without being rude or abrupt.

If you have tips or suggestions about other ways that this can be done, please feel free to share them in the Comments section below!

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Dorwart, L. (2019, February 13). 17 amazing tricks for dodging unwanted questions. Best Life. Retrieved from: https://bestlifeonline.com/avoid-unwanted-questions/

How to Be Curious

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Curiosity

Curiosity is a great quality to have in the workplace. People who are curious are more likely to examine problems from different perspectives and come up with innovative solutions. They’re more likely to be lifelong learners who are constantly developing and enhancing their skills and abilities. Curious employees tend to be creative employees. And they’re often a big asset to their teams.

We were all curious when we were young. But curiosity is a quality that can sometimes be lost as we get older. It’s not always encouraged. There’s an old saying – “curiosity killed the cat.” Many of us were taught that curiosity can get you into trouble and you should stick with the status quo.

So how can you become curious again? What can you do to rediscover this quality? Author Greg Blatt has a few suggestions:

  • Allow yourself time to think and learn – When you’re faced with a problem at work and you don’t need to take immediate action, give yourself a little time to reflect. Take the time to consider all of your options and possibly discover new ones. In addition, if you ever have downtime at work, try to spend some of it investigating a topic that interests you. Learning about new things can help to further spark your curiosity.
  • Be willing to listen to new ideas – When a coworker voices a new idea or opinion, don’t judge it immediately. Listen to what your coworker has to say, and try to be open to new ways of doing things.
  • Don’t be afraid to ask questions –If you don’t fully understand something, ask about it. Asking questions is one of the best ways to indulge your curiosity and improve the quality of your work. Your questions might help you and your coworkers to uncover new possibilities, collaborate more effectively, and develop your ideas more successfully.  
  • Get used to feeling a little uncomfortable – It can sometimes be a little uncomfortable to question the status quo and examine issues from a new perspective. But if you can stomach that feeling, the payoff will be worth it. Being curious, asking questions, and learning new things is tremendously rewarding. And ultimately, it will be beneficial to your whole team.

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Blatt, G. (2020, April 7). Curiosity in the workplace: How to develop an inquisitive attitude and become a better leader. Thrive Global. Retrieved from: https://thriveglobal.com/stories/curiosity-in-the-workplace-how-to-develop-an-inquisitive-attitude-and-become-a-better-leader/

How to Ask Great Questions and Get Great Answers

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Too Many Questions. Pile of colorful paper notes with question marks. Closeup.

Let’s imagine that a problem has cropped up at work and you’re not sure what to do. It would make sense to seek out a knowledgeable coworker and get that person’s advice. But before you do that, here’s something to keep in mind – the way in which you ask for advice can have a huge impact on the type of response that you get.

For example, let’s say that you approached your knowledgeable coworker and said this:

  • You: “The client won’t give me any feedback. So I think I’m going to email his boss and complain. That would certainly get things moving, don’t you think?”
  • Your Coworker: “Yeah, I guess.”

This is a bad way to ask a question. You’re not really asking your coworker to provide input on how to solve the problem. You’re just asking a yes/no question and trying to get your coworker’s blessing for your lousy plan of action.

If you really want to get valuable information, you need to ask great questions. Author Jeff Haden provides the following tips:

  • Don’t ask leading questions – A leading question might be something like, “Don’t you think I’ve waited long enough for a response?” These types of questions are bad because your coworkers will know how you want them to respond, and they may not give you an honest answer.
  • Don’t ask either/or questions – Don’t present your coworkers with two options and ask them which one is better. Maybe both options are bad! Instead, just explain the problem and ask what should be done to fix it.
  • Ask open-ended questions – You should ask the type of question that can’t be answered with a simple “yes” or “no.” For example, you might say “What would you do to solve this problem?” When you ask open-ended questions that require a detailed response, you’ll be more likely to learn valuable new information.
  • Be humble – If you’re confused by what your coworker is saying, admit your confusion and ask clarifying questions. Then keep asking questions until you understand what your coworker is suggesting. Don’t try to pretend that you understand something when you don’t.
  • Be quiet and listen – After asking your question, be quiet. Give your coworker some time to think about the problem and generate a solution. And don’t interrupt while your coworker is talking. Let your coworker finish what he or she is saying before you say anything. You’ll learn a lot more by being quiet and listening than you will by continuing to talk.

 

Haden, J. (2019, April 8). How smart people ask great questions (and get better answers). Inc. Retrieved from: https://www.inc.com/jeff-haden/how-smart-people-ask-great-questions-and-get-great-answers.html?cid=hmside3

The One Thing You Should Do to Make Your Coworkers Like You

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Friends

It’s so important to be on good terms with your coworkers. When people have good relationships at work, they’re happier and more productive. They’re more likely to collaborate, share ideas, be creative, and enjoy the work that they do.

So what should you do to make your coworkers like you? According to research, the answer is simple – you should ask them questions.

When you ask people questions and really listen to their answers, you form a bond. You create a feeling of trust and connection. And that’s an important foundation for any relationship.

But the way that you ask questions is important! Getting too personal too quickly is a big misstep. So is asking questions in an angry tone or not really listening to the person’s answer. If you want your coworkers to like you, you need to ask questions the right way. Try following these four steps:

  1. Start with simple questions – Don’t begin by asking your coworker a really personal, tough, or challenging question. You may be seen as abrasive or intrusive. Start out with simple questions and build from there.
  2. Use a friendly tone of voice – Don’t be too formal or curt when asking questions. People respond better to questions asked in a friendly, casual manner. If you use a warm tone of voice, your coworkers will most likely be warm and friendly in return.
  3. Ask open-ended questions – There’s nothing wrong with asking people questions that they can answer with a simple “yes” or “no.” But when you ask open-ended questions that require a more detailed response, you’ll be more likely to learn valuable new information and form a connection.
  4. Ask follow-up questions – Follow-up questions are essential! When you ask follow-up questions, you’re demonstrating to your coworkers that you’ve been paying attention and you care about what they have to say. Your coworkers will most likely appreciate your interest and respond by being even more friendly, open, and honest.

 

Koulopoulos, T. (2018, July 22). Harvard study reveals one word is the secret to being likeable and emotionally intelligent. Inc. Retrieved from: https://www.inc.com/thomas-koulopoulos/harvard-study-reveals-that-one-word-is-secret-to-being-likable-emotionally-intelligent.html

 

Don’t Be Afraid to Ask

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Woman_With_Questions

When we’re at work, we all want to be viewed as super-competent and all-knowing. We don’t want our bosses or coworkers to know if we feel unsure of how to proceed on a certain task or project. No one wants to appear to be confused, inexperienced, or unintelligent.

So what do we do when we don’t know what to do? We often search for the answer online. Or we stumble around, doing the best we can. We generally don’t do what we really should do – ask for help.

It’s uncomfortable to ask other people for help. It feels like you’re admitting to having a certain shortcoming or weakness. But actually, asking for help when you need it is often the best course of action, because it accomplishes two things:

  • You’ll get some assistance – Asking your knowledgeable boss or coworker for help when you’re not sure how to proceed will help you to get the answers you need and get your work done right.
  • Your bosses and coworkers will think you’re smart – Researchers have found that when people ask questions, they’re not viewed as being unintelligent or unqualified. They’re actually viewed as being smarter! Bosses and coworkers feel good about themselves when people come to them for help. And they view the people that they’re helping in a positive light.

So go ahead and ask for help when you need it! Not only will you be more confident and productive, your bosses and coworkers will also think you’re extremely smart. It’s a win-win situation!

 

Liu, Caroline. (n.d.). The stupid easy way to make people think you’re smarter. The Muse. Retrieved from https://www.themuse.com/advice/the-stupid-easy-way-to-make-people-think-youre-smarter?ref=carousel-slide-0

 

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