Learning

Six Ways to Boost Your Confidence at Work

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Confident_Guy

Some people are just naturally confident. They feel proud of the work they do and the things they accomplish on the job.

Other people have a harder time believing in themselves. They might do excellent work, but they still have doubts about their skills and competencies. If you fall into this second category, here are six ways that you can banish your concerns and boost your confidence:

  1. Tell people when you’ll get a task done and then meet that deadline. You’ll feel good about what you accomplished, and this will help to increase your feelings of confidence. And it will make other people respect your skills and abilities.
  2. Speak up. During meetings, you don’t have to talk constantly or dominate conversations. But when you feel like you have something valuable to say, say it! The more practice you get in this area, the more comfortable you’ll be speaking in front of your bosses and coworkers – and the more confident you’ll feel.
  3. Learn how to deal with criticism. We all get criticized occasionally, and it can be hard to take. But criticism really can be beneficial. You just need to stay calm, not get defensive, listen to what’s being said, and gather more information if necessary. If you determine that your manager’s criticism is valid, try to change your behavior. And most of all – don’t let it shake your confidence. Don’t obsess over what was said. Instead, try to focus on all the strengths and skills that you have to offer.
  4. Get some additional training. If you feel like your knowledge is lacking in certain areas, seek out additional training. As you learn more, your confidence (and competence) will grow!
  5. Smile and be peppy. Confident people actually do smile more often than those who lack confidence. And they walk in a peppy manner. So if you can do those things, you’ll look more confident, other people will think you’re confident, and this, in turn, will help to make you feel more confident!
  6. Spend time with encouraging friends and/or coworkers. Nothing builds up your confidence more than being around people who support you, remind you of your strengths, console you (when necessary), and encourage you.

 

Brandon, J. (2014, October 6). 10 ways to build your confidence at work. Inc. Retrieved from http://www.inc.com/john-brandon/10-ways-to-build-your-confidence-at-work.html

 

Are You a Jerk at Work?

By in Communication, Learning Tags:

Acting_Like_A_Jerk

I care what my coworkers think of me. I think most of us do. Last week I asked my coworkers if they thought I was weird. They told me that it was weird of me to even ask. So I guess that answers that question.

But have you ever wondered if your coworkers think you’re a jerk? Well now you can find out! According to author Bruce Tulgan, your coworkers may think you’re a jerk if you engage in one or more of the following behaviors:

  • Blame others for mistakes that are made, even if you contributed to those mistakes.
  • Only consider what you want or need from others, rather than what you can offer them.
  • Take yourself very seriously, but don’t take your obligations to others very seriously.
  • Make fun of other people and/or call them names.
  • Don’t listen carefully when others are speaking and interrupt often.
  • Criticize other peoples’ work, but never offer any helpful suggestions on how to improve it.
  • Take credit for other peoples’ success.
  • Complain a lot, but never offer any ideas on how to make things better.
  • Lose your temper and raise your voice. (This is true even if you’re alone in your office and “taking to yourself.” If people can hear you being angry, it’s scary.)

So what should you do if you’re not viewed very favorably by your coworkers? Well, don’t despair. It’s a tough situation to be in, but it’s always possible to turn things around. Just try to avoid the behaviors listed above. If you can change your ways, you’ll slowly earn your coworkers’ trust and affection!

Tulgan, B. (2015, May 13). 10 signs that the jerk at work might be you. Huffington Post. Retrieved from: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/bruce-tulgan/10-signs-that-the-jerk-at_b_6865100.html

Being Grateful

By in Learning, Living Well Tags:

Happy_Guy

Want to be happier? Healthier? Get a better night’s sleep? No problem! Just be grateful for the things you have.

A growing body of research suggests that feelings of gratitude can have lasting, beneficial effects on people’s mental and physical health. Studies have found that when people spend time focusing on the things that they’re grateful for, they experience the following:

  • Reduced feelings of stress
  • Increased sense of well-being
  • Increased feelings of satisfaction
  • Improved resilience
  • Better, more restful sleep
  • Increased desire to exercise and help others

So go ahead and make a list of the things that you’re thankful for. You might even want to read the list out loud, or stick it on your fridge so you see it regularly. You’ll be grateful you did!

 

Pinker, S. (2015, December 19-20). An Attitude of Gratitude Brings Better Health. The Wall Street Journal, p. C2.

 

Things Are Changing… Darn It

By in Learning Tags:

Reacting_to_Change

Today I thought I’d write an article about managing change – not because I’m great at dealing with the ebb and flow of life – but because I’m terrible at it. I hate change. Change makes me uncomfortable and unhappy. I like things to stay the way they are. Unfortunately, it’s been my experience that things rarely remain the same. Change happens and you just have to deal with it.

But is there a way that I could deal with it better? Could I somehow avoid that “uncomfortable and unhappy” stage? I decided to look into it, and find some tips on how to manage change more effectively. Once I started searching, I found that there are a lot of people out there offering advice! Here are some of the suggestions that I found most helpful:

  • Don’t be afraid – Change happens all the time. Try to roll with it rather than fearing it.
  • Seek information – Gather all the information you can about the change that’s happening. Having accurate information will reduce your feelings of stress and make you feel more in control of the situation.
  • Think before you react – Don’t let your emotions get the better of you and don’t jump to conclusions. Take time to think about the situation and plan your next steps.
  • Be optimistic – Sometimes change requires you to let go of something. But change can be beneficial as well! Try to see what you might gain from the new situation.
  • Be creative and flexible – Try to see the new situation from a variety of perspectives. Think about all the different ways that you could react and adapt.
  • Take charge – Don’t just sit around feeling sad. If you’re unhappy with your new situation, actively work to change it. Doing something is almost always better than doing nothing because at least you’re being proactive and moving forward.

So what about you? Do you have suggestions for how to effectively manage change? If so, please write them in the Comment section below. Any and all suggestions are greatly appreciated!

Bad Habits That Drive Coworkers Crazy

By in Learning Tags: ,

Noisy_Talking

Hey, no one is perfect. We all have our little quirks and peculiarities. But it’s possible that some of your habits might be driving your coworkers crazy.

In an office, you have a group of people sharing the same space. And when you’re working in close quarters with people who have different working styles, preferences, and personalities, things can sometimes get a little irritating.

I did a search on the internet for “annoying workplace habits,” and found a lot of interesting results! Here are the items that were mentioned most often:

  • Being unreasonably noisy – You don’t need to be silent. But try your best to use your “indoor voice” when having conversations with coworkers or talking on the phone. Also, if you like to listen to music at your desk, consider wearing headphones. And finally, if you’re on a conference call, mute the line when you’re not speaking. No one wants to hear you munching on snacks or typing on your keyboard! (Also, if people hear you typing, it’s clear that you’re not paying full attention to the conference call. Busted!)
  • Weird smells – You might think that your air-freshener smells great. But the people around you might not agree. Try to keep your fragrances to a minimum.
  • Checking your phone constantly – Just stop it, OK? I know your phone is incredibly tempting and appealing, but when you check it while someone else is talking, you’re basically telling that person, “you’re boring and unimportant.” Even if you’re sitting in an incredibly dull meeting, try to restrain yourself.
  • Leaving the kitchen a mess – I actually don’t care if there are dirty mugs in the sink. But I know that it really bugs several of my coworkers. (Perhaps my standards of cleanliness are kind of low?) Well, in any case, you can avoid any conflict by simply washing out your mugs and dishes. And if your food is rotting in the fridge, throw it out. Your coworkers will appreciate it!
  • Invading personal space – In many offices, space is already limited. So don’t limit it further by getting too close to your coworkers. Also, don’t touch other people’s computer screens. (I’m guilty of this one! When I get excited to point something out, I lose all control and start stabbing my finger at people’s screens. But I’m trying to do better – honest.)

Can you think of any bad habits that should be included on this list? Feel free to add them in the Comments section below!

Conducting Interviews – Ask the Right Questions!

By in Communication, Learning Tags: ,

Interview_Questions

At my former job, we really put job applicants through the wringer. First, they had to be individually interviewed by practically everyone working there (including me). Then they had to go out for a meal with the boss, where they would be expected to answer more questions while also trying to avoid getting spinach stuck in their teeth. Challenging stuff.

So I conducted a lot of interviews, but I don’t think I was very good at it. I knew that certain qualities were essential to the job (like being detail-oriented), so I would ask about those things. But the exchanges were never very illuminating. They usually went something like this…

  • Me: Are you detail-oriented?
  • Applicant: Yes!
  • Me: Oh, that’s great.

So when I was recently asked to sit in on a group interview, I asked my boss (an excellent interviewer) what type of questions he would recommend I ask. He suggested that I get the applicant to tell a story – to tell us about a time when she was faced with a difficult problem, dealt with a demanding client, or contributed to a successful (or unsuccessful) project.

I went online and found that these are called “behavioral questions.” I also learned that these types of questions are very effective and revealing. Even though applicants are obviously going to tell you a success story, the details that they provide (and the way they tell it) can reveal a lot about their personality, attitude, and how they work with others.

So the next time you’re asked to interview someone, give behavioral questions a try! Stories about how applicants behaved in the past can tell you a lot about how they will behave in the future. And they reveal so much more than questions that can be answered with a simple “yes” or “no.”

 

The Importance of Resilience

By in Learning, Living Well Tags: , ,

Resilient_Plant

Resilience is the ability to deal with change. It’s the ability to recover from setbacks or disappointments, and move on. It’s the ability to cope. And it’s important. Research indicates that resilient people are more healthy and productive, and less likely to be absent from work. Resilience is a great quality – and it’s one that can be learned and developed!

So what can you do to become more resilient? Here are a few suggestions:

  • Don’t be so hard on yourself. A lot of people are pretty hard on themselves and engage in negative “self-talk.” For instance, if something goes wrong, they might think, “I’m so stupid. I’m always making mistakes.” If you have a tendency to have these types of thoughts, try to put a stop to them. Replace the negative thoughts with facts. For instance, if you make a mistake, think, “No one is perfect. I will fix this mistake.”
  • Find a relaxing spot and spend some time there occasionally. If there’s a quiet place at work where you can go now and then to relax, take the time to do it. If there isn’t, conjure up a relaxing scene in your mind and picture yourself there. It will help you to relax and decompress.
  • Be nice to your coworkers. Smile at them, ask questions, and listen to what they have to say. Your coworkers will most likely respond in a positive, friendly fashion, which will help to improve your mood and productivity.
  • Go for a walk with your coworkers. Walking with your coworkers will help you to build stronger relationships with them. And people with strong relationships have better resilience.
  • Keep a log of the things that you’re grateful for. Focusing on these things will help you to feel strong and positive throughout the day.

 

Landro, L. (2016, February 16). Why learning to be resilient is good for your health. The Wall Street Journal, p. D2.

 

Do You Lack Emotional Intelligence?

By in Communication, Learning Tags:

Sad_Man

Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize and understand both your own emotions and other peoples’ emotions. It’s the ability to use that information when deciding what to say and do. It involves empathy, self-regulation, and social skills.

Having a high level of emotional intelligence can be very beneficial! It can help you to build strong relationships with your coworkers, resolve conflicts, and overcome challenges. But not everyone is strong in this area. And the people who are lacking in it are often unaware of it.

So how do you know if you lack emotional intelligence? Well, according to an article in the Harvard Business Review, there are a few telltale signs:

  • Other people often misunderstand you, and it makes you feel frustrated.
  • People often overreact to your comments and jokes. You believe it’s because they’re oversensitive.
  • You don’t believe it’s important to be liked by your coworkers.
  • You’re quick to offer your opinions and then forcefully defend them.
  • You have high expectations for yourself and expect others to behave in the same way.
  • When something goes wrong on a project, you generally believe that your coworkers are to blame.
  • You feel annoyed when other people expect you to know how they’re feeling.

If these behaviors seem to describe you, it’s possibly that you may be low in emotional intelligence. But if that’s the case, don’t worry! You can increase your level of emotional intelligence by doing the following:

  • Ask people for honest feedback on your behavior, and listen to what they have to say without getting defensive.
  • Think about how the things you say might be interpreted by others and how it might make them feel. If it’s not what you intended, try to say it in a different way.
  • If you’re feeling upset or passionate about something, pause before you speak. Give yourself a minute to calm down, clear your head, and listen to what other people are saying.
  • Try to view the world from other peoples’ perspectives. Listen to other peoples’ points of view, and try to understand their positions.

Wilkins, M. M. (2014, December 31). Signs that you lack emotional intelligence. Harvard Business Review. Retrieved from: https://hbr.org/2014/12/signs-that-you-lack-emotional-intelligence

Having a Bad Day? Here’s How to Make It Better.

By in Learning, Living Well Tags: ,

Bad_Day

Everyone has a terrible day once in a while. It’s that day when you lose your keys, you feel overwhelmed at work, you spill coffee all over your favorite shirt, and your cat throws up on your white carpet. It’s the kind of day when nothing seems to go right.

When you’re in the middle of a terrible day, it often seems like there’s nothing that can make it better. But actually, there are almost always things that you can do to improve your situation – at least a little bit.

Here are four ways to make a bad day a little bit better.

  1. Remind yourself that your luck will change. Even if everything seems to be going wrong at the moment, remind yourself that it’s only a temporary condition. Your luck will change for the better eventually!
  2. Be good to yourself. We often tend to be our worst critics. So when things go wrong, we often tell ourselves that we’re stupid, clumsy, or incompetent. Try to avoid that kind of thing if you can. Be kind to yourself and cut yourself a little slack.
  3. Give yourself a treat. Is there a little something that you can do to make yourself feel better? Maybe buy yourself a tasty snack, go for a walk around your neighborhood, or take a hot bath? Do something for yourself that will bring you a little enjoyment. (And if you’re not sure what that might be, spend a little time thinking about it. Come up with a list of five activities that bring you pleasure so you’re ready for the next terrible day that comes along!)
  4. Accomplish something. Get something done, even if it’s just a little thing. Neaten up your living room, hang a picture, or mow your front lawn. Accomplishing a task will make you feel better about yourself and the day in general.

 

Boyes, A. (2015, July 27). 5 tips for coping with a really bad day. Psychology Today. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-practice/201507/5-tips-coping-really-bad-day

 

Workplace Sabotage

By in Communication, Learning Tags: ,

AnnoyedAtMeeting

I don’t want to disturb you. But it’s possible that you might be sabotaging your workplace – without even realizing it! According to the book, “Simple Sabotage: A Modern Manual for Detecting and Rooting Out Everyday Behaviors That Undermine Your Workplace,” there are certain behaviors that often seem innocent but can actually have damaging effects. They can have a negative impact on both productivity and morale.

They include the following:

  • Insisting that things must always be done through the proper channels. Not allowing any short-cuts, even when they make sense.
  • Making a lot of speeches during meetings. Talking at length about your personal experiences and telling long stories about things that have happened to you in the past.
  • Recommending that all decisions be made by large committees of at least five people.
  • Derailing conversations by bringing up irrelevant issues that send everyone off on a tangent.
  • Worrying over every word used in documents and emails. Getting into lengthy debates about why one word should be used instead of another.
  • Bringing up decisions that were already made and indicating that you’d like to discuss these matters further.
  • Always advising your coworkers to be cautious, not to take any chances, and not to be hasty.
  • Waiting until a decision is made, and then suggesting that your group shouldn’t be the one making this decision. Recommending that people with more power in the organization should be involved.

Do you see yourself in this list? If so, you might want to try changing your ways! Even though you’re probably trying to be helpful and follow the rules, these behaviors often make it harder for people to work together and get things accomplished.

 

Duncan, R. D. (2015, December 4). Eight behaviors that sabotage your workplace. Forbes. Retrieved from: http://www.forbes.com/sites/rodgerdeanduncan/2015/12/04/eight-behaviors-that-sabotage-your-workplace/

Galford, R. M., Frisch, B., & Greene, C. (2015). Simple sabotage: A modern field manual for detecting & rooting out everyday behaviors that undermine your workplace. New York, NY: HarperCollins Publisher.

 

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