Communication

What Your Hand Gestures Mean

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Hand_Gestures

When you’re giving a presentation, your words matter. But the way you gesture with your hands also matters quite a bit. You may not realize it, but your audience will derive a lot of meaning from the way you hold your hands. Body language is very revealing!

So it’s important to be aware of what you’re communicating when you hold your hands in a certain way. To help you out with that, here is a list of common hand gestures and how others tend to interpret them.

  1. Not Moving Your Hands at All
    You don’t make any hand gestures while talking.
    What It Means: Your audience may think that you don’t really care about what you’re talking about. You may appear to be uninterested or indifferent.
  2. Hiding Your Hands
    Throughout your speech, you hide your hands from your audience’s view.
    What It Means: Your audience may think that you’re untrustworthy.
  3. Hands Open at a 45 Degree Angle
    You hold your hands in front of you with your open palms facing each other. Your hands are tilted outward slightly.
    What It Means: This gesture suggests that you’re being open and honest about what you’re saying.
  4. Hands Open With Palms Facing Down
    You hold your hands in front of you with your open palms facing the floor.
    What It Means: This gesture is often interpreted as meaning that you’re very certain about what you’re saying.
  5. Palms Facing Each Other With Fingers Touching
    You hold your hands in front of you with palms facing each other and your fingers touching (forming a triangle shape). This is sometimes known as a “hand steeple.”
    What It Means: This gesture suggests that you’re an expert on the topic under discussion. (I also think it could mean that you’re an evil genius. I’ve noticed that a lot of movie villains tend to hold their hands this way!)
  6. Gripping Your Hands Together OR Touching Your Face and Hair a Lot
    You clasp your hands together, or you constantly touch your face and play with your hair.
    What It Means: These gestures will make you look nervous and uncertain.
  7. Making Big Gestures
    You hold your arms and hands out wide.
    What It Means: If you only do this once in a while, it’s a good way to let your audience know that you’re communicating something very important or groundbreaking. If you do it all the time, you will look a little odd and out of control.

 

Weinschenk, S. (2012, September 26). Your hand gestures are speaking for you. Psychology Today. Retrieved from: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/brain-wise/201209/your-hand-gestures-are-speaking-you

 

Confidence Boosters

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Talking_Confidently

Would you like to sound confident when talking to clients, managers, and coworkers – even if you don’t feel confident? Would you like other people to view you as knowledgeable, trustworthy, and authoritative? If so, author Jayson Demers suggests that you try these simple techniques:

  • Speak slowly – Speaking quickly can make you sound nervous, and you’ll be more likely to stumble over your words. In contrast, if you speak slowly, you’ll have time to choose your words carefully, and everything you say will sound more weighty and important.
  • Take pauses – When you pause while speaking, it gives you the chance to gather your thoughts and take a deep breath (if you’re feeling anxious). Pauses also make you sound relaxed and confident. They can be used to build suspense and emphasize a certain key point. And they give your listeners the chance to absorb and process what you’re saying.
  • Don’t go off on tangents – When you go off on a tangent, you run the risk of looking scattered, nervous, and disorganized. So don’t tell that adorable story about your cat unless it’s actually relevant. Stay focused on the topic at hand.
  • Lower your voice – People who speak with a low tone of voice tend to be viewed as more knowledgeable and trustworthy. So try to bump yours down just a bit. Don’t go too far, or you’ll probably sound weird. But if you go just a tiny bit lower than usual, it can have a positive effect.
  • Stand up straight – Posture is important! People will respect you more if you stand up straight with your shoulders back, your head held high, and your arms at your sides.
  • Gesture a lot – Don’t just wave your hands around. That would be strange. But you should use hand gestures to draw attention to what you’re saying and emphasize important points. It will help you to appear more confident and make your words seem more important.

It’s also a good idea to practice using these techniques. The more comfortable you become with them, the more effective they’ll be! Good luck!

 

Demers, J. (n.d.). The 7 best tricks to sounding confident (even when you’re not). The Muse. Retrieved from: https://www.themuse.com/advice/the-7-best-tricks-to-sounding-confident-even-when-youre-not

 

How to Deal With an Angry Client

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Angry_Cat

Have you ever been faced with an angry customer or client? No matter what, it’s probably going to be tense and stressful. But you can make the situation less upsetting if you’re prepared. You need to know how to handle angry clients, mitigate their anger, and resolve the situation (if possible).

Follow these steps:

  1. Stay calm. Even if your clients are angry or yelling, don’t respond in kind. Take a deep breath, control your emotions, and keep a pleasant look on your face.
  2. Don’t take it personally. It’s hard not to get upset when clients are yelling at you and possibly criticizing something that you’ve worked hard on. But try to remember that even though you’re doing quality work, people often have different opinions about how things should be done. It’s not a reflection on you or your skills.
  3. Listen. When people are angry, they need to vent. They need to express why they’re angry and feel like they’re being heard. So listen to what your clients are saying. Don’t interrupt, cross your arms, or look impatient. Make eye contact, nod as your clients are speaking, and give them the opportunity to fully explain why they’re angry.
  4. Be sympathetic and apologize. After your clients have had the chance to express their feelings, show some sympathy. Tell them that you can understand why they’re unhappy. And then, even if it’s not your fault, apologize. Tell your clients that you’re sorry that they experienced this situation.
  5. Figure out a solution. Focus on what will make your clients happy and what you can do to make them pleased and satisfied. Ask your clients to be specific about what they think should be done. Remember to stay calm and positive. You might not be able to resolve the situation right away, but tell your clients that you’re going to make an effort to make things better.
  6. Take a break. After dealing with angry clients, you’ll probably feel physically and emotionally drained. So talk to a friendly coworker, take a short walk, or make yourself a cup of tea. Allow yourself a few minutes to relax and regroup.

 

Newtek. (2013, August 2). 7 steps for dealing with angry customers. Forbes. Retrieved from: https://www.forbes.com/sites/thesba/2013/08/02/7-steps-for-dealing-with-angry-customers/#6725c5b66d27

 

Stop Using Filler Speech When Presenting

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Presenting

I think we all use filler speech occasionally. Those are words like “um,” “so,” “you know,” “ah,” and “like.” Some people use them more than others. But in regular conversation, it’s OK. People who use a lot of filler speech take a little extra time to get their point across. But they get there eventually. And research has shown that they tend to be more thoughtful and conscientious than those who don’t use filler speech when they talk. So, like, it’s fine.

But there is a time when using a lot of filler speech is NOT fine – and that’s when you’re speaking publically. If you use a lot of filler speech during a presentation, your audience will react negatively. Research indicates that your audience will do the following:

  • Have difficulty figuring out what you’re actually trying to say
  • View you as distracted, nervous, untrustworthy, and inauthentic
  • Get distracted and start thinking about other things

So how can you avoid using these “verbal crutches”? According to Noah Zandan, you need to get comfortable with silence. Every time you feel like saying “um” or “like,” simply pause instead.

There’s no need to fill in every gap with a word or sound. During a speech, pauses are actually very effective. Not only do they give you a chance to gather your thoughts and take a few deep breaths (if you’re feeling anxious). They also make you sound relaxed and confident. They can be used to build suspense and emphasize a certain key point. And they give your audience the chance to absorb and process what you’re saying.

So how can you stop using filler speech and start pausing instead? Zandan recommends that you videotape yourself giving your presentation to identify the types of filler words that you tend to use. And then, after that, you need to practice replacing those words with pauses. Run through your presentation over and over until you’ve succeeded in removing the filler words. Preparation and practice is key.

 

Zandan, N. (2018, August 1). How to stop saying “um,” “ah,” and “you know”. Harvard Business Review. Retrieved from: https://hbr.org/2018/08/how-to-stop-saying-um-ah-and-you-know?utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter_daily&utm_campaign=mtod_not_activesubs&referral=00203&deliveryName=DM15924

 

New Slang Words – Talking to Generation Z

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Happy_Teens

Generation Z is considered to be anyone who was born in 1996 or later. So the oldest member of that group is 22 years old now, and just entering the workforce. You might find yourself working with a member of Generation Z sometime soon, so it’s good to stay up-to-date on the slang words that they’re currently using!

Also, it’s fun to learn new, weird terms, don’t you think? I personally love learning new slang words. And I also love using them in conversation, which probably makes the people around me cringe in horror and embarrassment. But hey, that’s OK! If I can make someone laugh (even if it’s at me), then it’s all worth it.

So if you’d like to communicate better with your young colleagues, or you just enjoy learning new slang words, this article is for you. Here is a list of slang words that are currently in style:

  • Lit – A situation or thing that’s cool or exciting. (You wouldn’t use this term to describe a cool person.)
    Example: “This office party is lit!”
  • Chill – Another way to say that something is cool.
    Example: “My new stapler is chill!”
  • Dope – Yet another way to say that something is cool.
    Example: “This free food is dope!”
  • Salty – A way to say that you feel angry or bitter.
    Example: “I’m salty because Marsha wouldn’t stop talking during the meeting.”
  • Looking snatched – A way to describe something that looks perfect.
    Example: “Your hair is looking snatched!”
  • Extra – When someone is trying too hard or being overly dramatic.
    Example: “Bob’s handouts are always in color. He’s so extra.”
  • Slay – A person or thing that’s really great.
    Example: “Thank you for meeting with that client! You slay!”
  • GOAT – An acronym for “greatest of all time.”
    Example: “My mom is the GOAT!”
  • Yeet – Something that you would yell when throwing something or a way to say “yes” with great enthusiasm.
    Example: “I just finished writing that report! Yeet!”

Be warned that slang words go in and out of style really quickly. So some of the items on this list might be viewed as outdated in the very near future. But until then, try to be chill and dope (and avoid being extra), and you’ll slay. Yeet!

 

Bradley-Bernard, N. (2018, August 20). 30 most popular slang words used by teenagers on social media in 2018. Your Tango. Retrieved from: https://www.yourtango.com/2018311003/what-that-popular-teen-slang-word-means-social-media-2018

Premack, R. (2018, September 19). Teens say they cringe when brands use these 11 outdated slang words – here’s what Gen Z is saying instead. Business Insider. Retrieved from: https://www.businessinsider.com/goat-savage-lit-dope-bae-teens-gen-z-slang-words-2018-6

 

How to Redirect an Uncomfortable Conversation

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Uncomfortable_Conversation

Chatting with clients and coworkers is great. Most of the time, it’s fun and interesting. You get to hear about the wacky things that people did over the weekend. You can learn about cool new movies that are currently streaming on Netflix. And, most importantly, you can strengthen your bond with them, and create a more friendly and cohesive work environment.

But have you ever gotten stuck in an uncomfortable conversation and you can’t figure out how to make it stop? Maybe you have a coworker who is always complaining about things at length. Or maybe your coworker won’t stop bragging about his or her awesome accomplishments. It’s awkward and painful, and you just want it to end. But you can’t figure out how to extricate yourself from the conversation without offending the other person – so it goes on and on.

Well suffer no more! According to author Sue Shellenbarger, you can end your pain by redirecting your coworker and transforming the uncomfortable conversation into something positive. She offers the following suggestions:

If your coworker won’t stop complaining…

  • Try to get your coworker to stop talking about the problem and start thinking about possible solutions. Ask your coworker, “What do you think would make this situation better?”
  • If that doesn’t work, try to steer the conversation in a more positive direction by asking your coworker questions about things that are going well in his or her life right now.

If your coworker won’t stop bragging…

  • Compliment your coworker on his or her accomplishments.
  • Then try to change the subject – possibly by sharing some information about yourself and what’s going on in your life.

If your coworker is being argumentative…

  • Remain calm and ask thoughtful questions.
  • Try to diffuse the tension by finding humor in the fact that your opinions are so different.
  • Try to find common ground.
  • If things get too heated, end the conversation and walk away until you’ve both had time to cool down and regain perspective.

 

Shellenbarger. S. (2018, May 28). How to save that conversation you can’t escape. The Wall Street Journal. Retrieved from: https://www.wsj.com/articles/how-to-save-that-conversation-you-cant-escape-1527516002

 

The One Thing You Should Do to Make Your Coworkers Like You

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Friends

It’s so important to be on good terms with your coworkers. When people have good relationships at work, they’re happier and more productive. They’re more likely to collaborate, share ideas, be creative, and enjoy the work that they do.

So what should you do to make your coworkers like you? According to research, the answer is simple – you should ask them questions.

When you ask people questions and really listen to their answers, you form a bond. You create a feeling of trust and connection. And that’s an important foundation for any relationship.

But the way that you ask questions is important! Getting too personal too quickly is a big misstep. So is asking questions in an angry tone or not really listening to the person’s answer. If you want your coworkers to like you, you need to ask questions the right way. Try following these four steps:

  1. Start with simple questions – Don’t begin by asking your coworker a really personal, tough, or challenging question. You may be seen as abrasive or intrusive. Start out with simple questions and build from there.
  2. Use a friendly tone of voice – Don’t be too formal or curt when asking questions. People respond better to questions asked in a friendly, casual manner. If you use a warm tone of voice, your coworkers will most likely be warm and friendly in return.
  3. Ask open-ended questions – There’s nothing wrong with asking people questions that they can answer with a simple “yes” or “no.” But when you ask open-ended questions that require a more detailed response, you’ll be more likely to learn valuable new information and form a connection.
  4. Ask follow-up questions – Follow-up questions are essential! When you ask follow-up questions, you’re demonstrating to your coworkers that you’ve been paying attention and you care about what they have to say. Your coworkers will most likely appreciate your interest and respond by being even more friendly, open, and honest.

 

Koulopoulos, T. (2018, July 22). Harvard study reveals one word is the secret to being likeable and emotionally intelligent. Inc. Retrieved from: https://www.inc.com/thomas-koulopoulos/harvard-study-reveals-that-one-word-is-secret-to-being-likable-emotionally-intelligent.html

 

2018 Office Jargon and What It Means

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Confused_by_jargon2

I think I work in a jargon-loving office. My coworkers are always throwing around phrases like “I don’t have enough bandwidth” and “that’s definitely in my wheelhouse.” Honestly, I hear these types of phrases so often that I sometimes forget that they’re office jargon. A couple weeks ago, I used the term “bandwidth” when talking to my boyfriend, and he was completely confused.

So just in case you work in an office that isn’t quite so enamored with jargon, I thought some definitions might come in handy. Here’s a list of some of the phrases that you might encounter, and what they mean:

Phrase When Would You Use It? Example
Not enough bandwidth When you’re too busy to take on a new task “I don’t have the bandwidth for this project.”
In my wheelhouse When something is within your area of expertise “This trivia challenge is totally in my wheelhouse!”
Bleeding edge When the terms “cutting-edge” or “state-of-the-art” just aren’t enough and you want to take it a step further “This new technology is bleeding edge!”
Put a record on and see who dances When you want to try something out and see what happens (similar to the phrase “run it up the flagpole”) “I’m not sure how people will react to this new product, so let’s just put a record on and see who dances.”
Boil the ocean When you think something is impossible “Bob, don’t boil the ocean. You know you can’t get all that work done in two weeks.”
OOTO and OOO When you’re too tired to type out the words “out of the office” (OOTO) or “out of office” (OOO) “I’m OOTO. Be back on Tuesday.”
All-hands When everyone is expected to participate “We’re going to be holding an all-hands meeting.”
Circle back When you intend to check up on something at a later date “I’ll circle back with you on that report you’re writing.”
Pain point When there’s a problem or challenge “What are the pain points on this project?”

 

2018 Business Jargon and What It Really Means. (2018, March 20). In Unum. Retrieved from: https://www.unum.co.uk/hr/2018-business-jargon-and-what-it-really-means

Brenoff, A. (2018, July 20). Your handy 2018 guide to officespeak. Huffington Post. Retrieved from:  https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/guide-to-officespeak_us_5b50b6bae4b0de86f48ac4c2

 

How to Criticize Someone Nicely

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Criticizing

It’s so hard to criticize a coworker or manager. Even if you think that your feedback would be helpful, you’re still saying something negative – and it could easily cause the person to become upset and defensive.

But what if it can’t be avoided? Is it possible to deliver constructive criticism without hurting anyone’s feelings? Author Susan Steinbrecher believes it can be done. Just follow these seven steps:

  1. Get permission – Ask the person if it would be OK if you shared an idea or suggestion. You might say something like, “Do you have a minute to talk about…?” It’s a polite thing to do. And if it’s not a good time, it would be better if you waited. If the person is busy or distracted, he or she is not likely to be receptive to what you have to say.
  2. Be balanced – Sure, you’ve got some negative things to say. But try to balance them out by saying positive things as well. And if you do pay the person a compliment, don’t immediately follow up with a “but.” (For example, “You do great work, but the clients think you’re difficult.”) Your compliment will be lost. All the person will hear is the criticism.
  3. Highlight the benefits – Why are you criticizing this person? How will your suggestions benefit that person, your working relationship, or the project that you’re both working on? Talk about the benefits of your ideas. You might be criticizing this person, but it’s for the best!
  4. Choose your words carefully – Say “I” rather than “you.” (For example, you should say “I feel unhappy when…” rather than “You make me feel unhappy when…”) Focus on the present rather than dredging up the past. And don’t use words like “always” or “never.” Saying things like “You always do this” or “You never do that” will only make the person feel angry and defensive.
  5. Prepare and practice – Work out what you want to say before you talk to the person. And then practice saying it. Run it by a trusted friend or coworker to see what he or she thinks of your message and delivery.
  6. Do it in person – Talk to the person face-to-face. If that’s not possible, talk on the phone. Definitely don’t send a text or an email. Written messages can easily be misinterpreted.
  7. Stay calm and keep an open mind – After you’ve delivered your prepared statement, the person might respond by providing you with some constructive criticism. Try to stay calm and listen carefully. Be open to what the person has to say and embrace the suggestions that seem helpful.

 

Steinbrecher, S. (2017, April 18). How to criticize anyone (yes, even your boss) and maintain your relationship. Inc. Retrieved from: https://www.inc.com/susan-steinbrecher/how-to-criticize-anyone-yes-even-your-boss-and-maintain-your-relationship.html

 

The WRONG Way to Apologize When You Make a Mistake at Work

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Apologizing

We all make mistakes. No one is perfect and no one is immune from the occasional slip-up. So it’s possible that you’ve occasionally made a mistake at work and upset one of your coworkers. And when that happens, you naturally want to apologize.

But when you do apologize, you need to do it right. Because if you mess up and do it wrong, it’s not going to go over well. Instead of making your coworker feel better, you might make that person feel more angry, resentful, and defensive.

So here are four things that you shouldn’t do when apologizing to a coworker:

Provide no explanation

If you tell your coworker that you’re sorry without providing any kind of explanation for what happened, it might come across sounding dismissive. (You’re indicating that you’re sorry, but you’re not that sorry.) Here’s an example…

  • No explanation: “I’m sorry.” (Pause.) “Hey, is anyone watching that new Netflix series?”
  • Explanation: “I’m sorry. I was feeling stressed out that day and shouldn’t have reacted like I did.”

Providing a bit of an explanation for your behavior makes your apology sound more heartfelt and genuine.

Use the word “but”

Never apologize and then immediately follow up with the word “but.” For example, you shouldn’t say something like “I’m sorry I reacted the way that I did, but it wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t ignored my ideas.” Using the word “but” negates your apology and makes it look like you’re trying to shift the blame onto someone or something else.

Avoid your coworker altogether

Apologizing is awkward and uncomfortable. But trying to avoid an angry coworker is even worse. So don’t even try it. Take a deep breath, go talk to your angry coworker, and admit your mistake. You’ll probably both feel better afterwards.

Fish for a compliment

If you go overboard with your apology, your coworker might start to think that you’re fishing for a compliment. For example, you shouldn’t say something like “I’m so sorry I reacted the way I did! I’m an awful person! I’m sure that no one wants to collaborate with me!” Your coworker might feel compelled to comfort you and compliment your work – and your coworker might resent you for it.

 

Wolfe, A. (n.d.) The 4 worst ways to apologize when you’ve messed up. The Muse. Retrieved from: https://www.themuse.com/advice/the-worst-ways-to-apologize-work

 

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