emotional intelligence

Do You Lack Emotional Intelligence?

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Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize and understand both your own emotions and other peoples’ emotions. It’s the ability to use that information when deciding what to say and do. It involves empathy, self-regulation, and social skills.

Having a high level of emotional intelligence can be very beneficial! It can help you to build strong relationships with your coworkers, resolve conflicts, and overcome challenges. But not everyone is strong in this area. And the people who are lacking in it are often unaware of it.

So how do you know if you lack emotional intelligence? Well, according to an article in the Harvard Business Review, there are a few telltale signs:

  • Other people often misunderstand you, and it makes you feel frustrated.
  • People often overreact to your comments and jokes. You believe it’s because they’re oversensitive.
  • You don’t believe it’s important to be liked by your coworkers.
  • You’re quick to offer your opinions and then forcefully defend them.
  • You have high expectations for yourself and expect others to behave in the same way.
  • When something goes wrong on a project, you generally believe that your coworkers are to blame.
  • You feel annoyed when other people expect you to know how they’re feeling.

If these behaviors seem to describe you, it’s possibly that you may be low in emotional intelligence. But if that’s the case, don’t worry! You can increase your level of emotional intelligence by doing the following:

  • Ask people for honest feedback on your behavior, and listen to what they have to say without getting defensive.
  • Think about how the things you say might be interpreted by others and how it might make them feel. If it’s not what you intended, try to say it in a different way.
  • If you’re feeling upset or passionate about something, pause before you speak. Give yourself a minute to calm down, clear your head, and listen to what other people are saying.
  • Try to view the world from other peoples’ perspectives. Listen to other peoples’ points of view, and try to understand their positions.

Wilkins, M. M. (2014, December 31). Signs that you lack emotional intelligence. Harvard Business Review. Retrieved from: https://hbr.org/2014/12/signs-that-you-lack-emotional-intelligence

Are You Emotionally Intelligent? Take This Quiz and Find Out!

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People who are emotionally intelligent are good at recognizing, regulating, and channeling their feelings. They’re also good at recognizing and empathizing with the feelings that other people are experiencing.

Some research suggests that people who are high in emotional intelligence have an easier time getting along with coworkers and clients. Thus, they may be more effective when negotiating with others or working on team projects.

So how well can you read other people’s expressions, and understand what they might be thinking or feeling? The Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley has created an online quiz that will help you to answer that question! Just click the link below to test this ability. You’ll find out how good you are at reading and understanding other people’s emotions.

https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/quizzes/ei_quiz

 

Sadako Peace Day

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Origami

千羽鶴 (Senbazuru).

A thousand paper cranes.

In Japanese mythology, cranes are mystical animals believed to have lived for a thousand years and bring luck and longevity. There is a legend in Japan that says if you can fold a thousand paper cranes, you will receive a wish, such as a long life or recovery from an illness.

On August 6, 1945, a nuclear bomb dropped in Hiroshima, Japan. A little girl only two years old named Sadako Sasaki had been in her home about two kilometers away from the explosion. Approximately ten years later, Sasaki was diagnosed with leukemia and was given, at most, a year to live.

According to the website maintained by her family, Sasaki was told of the legend of a thousand cranes. And after seeing other patients around her folding paper cranes in order to get a wish, she started on her own journey to fold cranes.

She lacked paper in the hospital, so she created these creatures with paper from get-well presents or wrappings from medicine bottles given to her. Her family and friends would often come by and help her fold more cranes as the days passed by.

By the end of August, Sasaki had folded a thousand cranes and continued to do so.

Sasaki passed away on October 25, 1955.

Of course, a legend is a legend. No one could predict what would happen with Sasaki, but unfortunately, she wasn’t able to survive the consequences of the bombing.

Perhaps the cranes didn’t listen to her wish. Perhaps they did, and she wished for something else instead. There is no final word on what Sasaki really wanted, and only she will know the truth.

This just helps to bring war into perspective.

About 80,000 victims died instantly in the Hiroshima bombing. Sadako Sasaki was just one of about 112,000 victims that later died as a result of its aftermath and radiation.

The Nuclear Age Peace Foundation holds an annual event around August 6th to remember Sadako Sasaki’s story and pay tribute to the victims of the Hiroshima and Nagasaki bombings.

As a result of war, innocent lives were taken.

Of course, this world will never be perfect. There will always be conflict, as it is normal behavior to show power through confrontation.

But stand up for peaceful solutions and try to find the best in a situation. Put yourselves in the shoes of those you fight against and understand them.

When the time comes, peace may turn your worst enemies into your best allies.

Dogs and Emotional Intelligence

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The following is an (edited) excerpt from a recent 60 Minutes report, “How Dogs Express Their Emotions.”

If you have ever watched YouTube videos of dogs welcoming home returning service members, it’s easy to see the bond between dogs and their owners. But have you ever wondered if dogs love us the way we love them?

Brian Hare, an evolutionary anthropologist at Duke University, says there’s proof of that bond. It’s found in our bloodstreams: “We know that when dogs and humans make eye contact, that actually releases what’s known as the love hormone, oxytocin, in both the dog and the human. It turns out oxytocin, the same hormone that helps new mothers bond with their babies, is released in both dogs and humans when they play, touch, or look into one another’s eyes. What we know now is that when dogs are actually looking at you, they’re essentially hugging you with their eyes.”

And when dogs are making a lot of eye contact with you, it’s not that they’re just trying to get something from you. It probably is just really enjoyable for them because they get oxytocin or an uptick in the “love hormone.”

All these new discoveries about dogs have led Brian Hare to create a science-based website called Dognition, where owners can learn to play games to test their dog’s brain power.

So the next time your dog fixes you with those big, trusting eyes, he’s really thinking of you, not just his next can of Alpo.

Be Healthier, Happier, and More Successful — Starting Today

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puppy

An act of kindness a day keeps depression at bay.

How are you feeling today? Energized, capable, connected, and peaceful? Or are you bored, sad, lonely, unfocused, or isolated?

If it’s the latter, this may be the cure you’ve been looking for: kindness.

Why kindness? Mental health authorities around the world say that practicing acts of kindness frequently produces multiple health benefits. According to the UK’s Mental Health Foundation, for example, kindness:

  • Promotes positive physiological changes in the brain associated with happiness
  • Slows heart disease and the aging process
  • Encourages a sense of belonging while reducing feelings of isolation
  • Helps people gain perspective and balance
  • Improves a person’s confidence, control, happiness, and optimism
  • Reduces stress
  • Helps minimize negative feelings
  • Helps us live longer and healthier lives

As a 2011 article in the Huffington Post explains, “Oxytocin (which we produce through emotional warmth) reduces levels of free radicals and inflammation in the cardiovascular system and thus slows aging at its source. Incidentally these two culprits also play a major role in heart disease, so this is also another reason why kindness is good for the heart.”

Convinced? Are you ready to “pay it forward”? Here are some ways to get started. Smile at someone who is looking miserable. Volunteer an hour this month to a cause you support. Donate a few dollars to a local charity. Text or email a few words of recognition to an unsung hero. Call a friend or family member who is struggling right now.

“Kindness is a language that the deaf can hear and the blind can see.” Mark Twain.

 

Seven Signs Your Employees Hate You

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UnhappyEmployees

If employee retention and productivity is down, maybe it’s you and not them.

(Adapted from salary.com)

True or false? As long as your team members get their work done, it doesn’t matter whether they count you as their bosom buddy or  think you are the greatest supervisor ever, right?

Wrong.

Studies have shown a direct correlation between a happy workforce and high productivity. If your staff members like their jobs and feel liked and respected by their supervisor, they are more likely to feel committed to their work.

The reverse is true as well: employees who don’t enjoy what they do and who don’t feel valued and liked (or like their boss) are more likely to feel disenchanted with their jobs and leave. That turnover translates into more cost for the company and more headaches for you.

So, how do you know when your employees might hate you? Here are seven compelling hints:

  1. They avoid running into you at all costs. Whether they’re always finding excuses to skip your meetings or crossing to the other side of a busy street when they see you approaching, these are indicators of a distinct problem.
  2. They don’t volunteer to help. Employees who enjoy their jobs are more likely to offer assistance when they don’t have to, if only to impress the boss.
  3. They’re out the door at 5. The minute hand hasn’t even reached 5:01 p.m. before they’ve vacated the room. That report Tom has been working on for an hour seems to have written itself in the last five minutes, and is on your desk at 4:58. If employees don’t like the atmosphere, they won’t waste time in vacating it.
  4. They are fidgety in your presence and their self-confidence seems to have plummeted. They are making more mistakes and don’t seem willing to tell you.
  5. The small talk stays awkwardly small. They keep their distance when, before, they used to shoot the breeze with you about their weekend or at least the weather. When even cursory information is no longer volunteered, that’s a red flag.
  6. They call in sick a lot. They seem indifferent to whether they’re going to be running out of sick time and in fact, there seems to be in an all-out competition in the department to see who can drain the bank first.
  7. The resignation notices are stacking up. No sooner than Tammy gives her resignation, Amy’s is quick to follow. And the resignations allow for only the minimum amount of notice. If an employee doesn’t respect or like you, he is less likely to extend common courtesies, such as giving adequate notice or considering the impact of a vacant desk.

What can you do about this? Spotting the signs of an unhappy workforce is the first step to resolving interpersonal problems and in many cases, to improving department productivity. Next, get some feedback from someone you trust – your own supervisor, a colleague, or someone on your team. It may be time for a new strategy.

Got Emotional Intelligence?

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What makes people effective at their jobs? What skills are necessary to work in a complex, demanding work environment? Increasingly, the answer to these and similar types of questions suggest that organizations are seeking individuals who demonstrate more than the conventional benchmarks of success such as academic credentials and years of experience in a profession. Individuals who have cultivated emotional as well as intellectual abilities are increasingly in demand. There is no doubt that emotional intelligence is important on a professional level, but it’s important on a personal level as well. So what is emotional intelligence, and what can you do to improve yours?

If you are a Johns Hopkins University employee, you may be interested in attending the “Cultivating the Power of Emotional Intelligence” workshop. Please click here to view course details.

There are also Skillsoft Courses available:

What is Emotional Intelligence?

Improving Your Emotional Intelligence Skills: Self-awareness and Self-management

(NOTE — You must use your JHED ID and password to access these resources.)